Why are rules needed? Conversation "Rules of conduct in public places" for children

Date: 30.09.2019

In today's companies, leaders focus on great attention corporate culture, but employees in most cases treat such efforts as eccentricity, perceiving them rather as an indicator of the excessive health and indefatigability of the leader: “If the bosses are not weird, then they are sick.”

This attitude is largely justified. Managers, for example, often don't know exactly what the status of projects is or how many extra items are stuck in the warehouse. Therefore, attention paid to the rules of corporate conduct may seem inappropriate or untimely to employees.

But the problem that makes executives turn to the topic of corporate rules is quite serious. To assess the significance of the rules, it is enough to note: any management system is based on instructions that describe the mutual actions of employees, while the concepts of "action" and "behavior" are not identical. It would seem that for normal operation, instructions that logically regulate actions are quite enough. However, forms of behavior, in contrast to production actions, are not particularly subject to logic. The emotionality inherent in everyone can greatly influence behavior.

With a poorly configured management system, it is bad for everyone - both managers and subordinates. As a rule, in such situations, employees have serious reasons for expressing dissatisfaction. Instructions, i.e., work rules, determine what the manager may be dissatisfied with, for example, poor quality of the result, missed deadlines, or inaccurate knowledge of the situation. And the rules of corporate conduct govern how that displeasure is expressed.

The desire to spoil the mood of employees for reasons not related to work can be called emotional tyranny. And here it becomes clear the meaning of the rules of corporate conduct! They are designed to limit acceptable forms of behavior and thereby humanize the atmosphere in the team. The rules aim to limit the emotional incontinence of some and preserve a sense of personal dignity by others, which ultimately allows all participants in the working relationship to maintain mutual respect.

To be fair, humanizing work relationships is an extremely difficult task, primarily because climate change in the workplace is slow. But if the first persons of the company are interested in a healthy atmosphere, the problem is solved.

The humanization of working relations is faced not only with the manifestation of the emotional incontinence of the authorities, but also with the misunderstanding by the subordinates of the correct and emotionally restrained attitude towards themselves. Once upon a time, my supervisor said that the vast majority of people are not inclined to adequately perceive a good attitude towards themselves. He meant that the benevolence and correctness of the leader can be perceived by subordinates as undemanding, as a reason for dishonesty. If the boss does not shout or swear, then his orders can be ignored, and he himself can not be taken seriously.

The creation and application of the rules of corporate conduct achieve results in almost the opposite direction. On the one hand, a working environment is emerging in which friendly relations between employees are considered natural, and on the other hand, conditions are simultaneously created under which the presentation of mutual demands is perceived as the norm of conscientious professional relations. "Nothing personal just business".

Leader is interested in efficient use the potential of each employee. In order for workers to work with full dedication, they must want it. This means that it is impossible to work productively with offended employees. V business relations anything can happen - it is exactly for this “everyone” that the rules of corporate behavior should be created.

Felix Schmidel, head and partner of the consulting company "Orgo-system"

Manners largely reflect the internal culture of a person, his moral and intellectual qualities. The ability to behave properly in society is very great importance: it facilitates the establishment of contacts, contributes to the achievement of mutual understanding, creates good, stable relationships. Therefore, in order to educate true ladies and gentlemen in oneself, one should clearly understand why all these boring rules of etiquette are needed in society.

Description

The established norms of morality are the result of a long process of establishing relationships between people. Without observance of these norms, political, economic, cultural relations are impossible, because it is impossible to exist without respecting each other, without imposing certain restrictions on oneself.

Important! Etiquette is a word of French origin, meaning demeanor. It includes the rules of courtesy and politeness adopted in society.

Modern etiquette inherits the customs of almost all peoples from hoary antiquity to the present day. Basically, these rules of conduct are universal, since they are observed by representatives not only of a given society, but also by representatives of the most diverse socio-political systems that exist in the modern world. The peoples of each country make their own amendments and additions to etiquette, due to the social system of the country, national traditions and customs.

As the living conditions of mankind change, the level of education and culture grows, some rules of behavior are replaced by others. What used to be considered indecent becomes generally accepted, and vice versa. But the requirements of etiquette are not absolute: their observance depends on the place, time and circumstances.

Interesting to know! Behavior that is unacceptable in one place and under one circumstance may be appropriate in another place and under other circumstances.

The norms of etiquette, in contrast to the norms of morality, are conditional, they are in the nature of an unwritten agreement about what is generally accepted in people's behavior and what is not. Every cultured person should not only know and observe the basic norms of etiquette, but also understand the need for certain rules and relationships.

It should be noted that a tactful and well-mannered person behaves in accordance with the norms of etiquette not only at official ceremonies, but also at home. Genuine politeness, which is based on benevolence, is determined by tact, a sense of proportion, suggesting what can and cannot be done under certain circumstances. Such a person will never violate public order, will not offend another by word or deed, will not offend his dignity.

Unfortunately, there are people with a double standard of behavior: one - in public, the other - at home. At work, with acquaintances and friends, they are polite, helpful, but at home with loved ones they do not stand on ceremony, are rude and tactless. This speaks of a low culture of a person and a bad upbringing.

Important! Modern etiquette regulates the behavior of people in everyday life, at work, in in public places and on the street, on a visit and at various official events - receptions, ceremonies, negotiations.

So, etiquette is a very large and important part of human culture, morality, morality, developed over many centuries of life by all peoples in accordance with their ideas of goodness, justice, humanity - in the field of moral culture and beauty, order, improvement, household expediency .

Why are codes of conduct necessary?

Oddly enough, the rules of etiquette exist in order to simplify the process of communication and mutual understanding. The way in which we are perceived by the people around us directly depends on the observance of the norms of behavior. Etiquette is a ready-made set of forms of courtesy that allows you not to think and almost automatically carry out communication within the human community.

Etiquette is a tool with which you can achieve a positive result from communicating with your own kind. This property of etiquette today is not replaceable in Everyday life, therefore, the rules of etiquette are constantly evolving, and today we can distinguish the rules of conduct for a public place, work, for intra-family communication, business conferences, ceremonies and much more.

At the heart of etiquette is a reasonable demand for respect and recognition of the dignity of each individual. Since a person is a social being, it is quite reasonable to assume that in his daily activities, he must somehow take into account the opinions of other people around him in this moment time.

Not in vain, many teachers of antiquity remembered the golden rule: "Treat others the way you would like them to treat you."

Basics of etiquette

The norms and rules of behavior in society apply to all forms of human interaction with the outside world. Educated behavior implies that a person reacts correctly to any events and does not respond with outbursts of anger to negativity.

Manners

Kindness and attention to others are the most important rules public behaviour. But the list of good manners is quite extensive. Let's consider the main ones:

Think not of yourself, but of others. Surrounding people prioritize sensitivity, not selfishness.
Show hospitality and friendliness. If you invite guests, treat them like your closest people.
Be polite in communication. Always say welcome and farewell words, thank for the gifts and services rendered, not only in word, but also in deed. A thank you letter, although it seems like a relic of the past, will be appropriate and pleasant for the recipient.
Avoid boasting. Let others judge you by your actions.
Listen first, then speak. Do not interrupt the interlocutor - you will have time to express your point of view later.
Don't point your finger at people and don't stare piercingly. This confuses them, especially the disabled.
Do not violate someone else's personal space - for example, do not get too close to unfamiliar people and use stuffy perfume. Never smoke in public without asking permission from your interlocutors, especially in the presence of non-smokers - no one likes passive smoking.
Avoid criticism and complaints. A person with good manners tries not to offend people with negative statements and does not complain about fate.
Remain calm in all situations. Anger not only leads to unnecessary conflicts with others, but also brings dissonance into one's own inner world.
Control your speech so as not to raise your voice, even if you start to get nervous.
Be punctual. Being late shows that you don't know how to plan your day and don't value other people's time.
Keep your word. An unfulfilled promise can lead to real tragedy in the life of the person you hope for.
Pay back your debts promptly. Failure to comply with this rule often causes not only the termination of friendship and good relationships, but also serious enmity.

Cloth

Appearance in business etiquette is of great importance. Business people in appearance are more likely to adhere not so much to fashion as to a certain level. The main rule when choosing clothes is its strict compliance with the time and situation.

business style

In most companies, the style of clothing of employees is given special attention; the way employees are dressed and how they behave in the office creates a certain impression of the company's image among potential customers and partners.

In addition, the dress code performs a number of important functions: clothing emphasizes the specifics of a particular situation, and also plays a decisive social role, to some extent reflecting gender, social status, profession, financial viability, as well as a person’s attitude to style, fashion and traditions.

Men should pay special attention to shirts:

Many men prefer plain shirts, while stylists do not recommend making a business wardrobe out of plain shirts that differ from each other only in a shade of the same color. Ideal in wardrobe business man must have at least ten shirts different colors and shades. Universal colors: gray, dark brown, dark blue, tan and white.
Pastel shades are allowed in the color scheme of business shirts, but too light pastel looks quite festive, so it is better to avoid such shades in a casual business wardrobe.
Vertical striped shirts are quite appropriate in the wardrobe of a business man. As for the length of the sleeve, the only correct solution in this case is a classic long-sleeved shirt. Hairy arms are not the most pleasant sight.
The official office dress code, as well as the standard one, does not favor checkered shirts, wide bright stripes, as well as things with prints and patterns. Clothing should not distract the attention of colleagues and partners, in some countries a certain combination of checks or stripes is associated with belonging to a particular national or political movement, therefore, in order to avoid erroneous interpretation of your image, it is better to keep your business wardrobe in a monochromatic way.

Also, you can not ignore the trousers:

Pants made of light fabrics distract attention from the shirt and the image as a whole. You should not wear light-colored trousers to an interview or business meeting, it is better to give preference to trousers in black, dark brown, navy blue or charcoal gray. The edge of the trousers should lie on the top of the shoe, but at the same time not gather at the bottom into ugly folds.
A shirt in the color of the trousers gives the impression of a military uniform, a win-win option is dark trousers and a light shirt, but not vice versa.
Denim clothing, of course, is very practical, but it is not appropriate in a business setting, especially when it comes to grated and light denim. In some companies, the dress code allows the presence of jeans, but for the most part, such clothing is allowed in small companies associated with creativity, advertising or IT technologies.

The office dress code for women differs from the men's in a wider choice of colors and clothing options in general.

The base of a women's business wardrobe is discreet elegant suits with trousers or a skirt, dresses of classic length, pencil skirts and shirt-cut blouses.

Glitter, a variety of sequins and rhinestones, rich embroidery and applique, bright flashy colors and prints are unacceptable in business clothes. Anything that diverts attention from your professional activity, not particularly welcome in terms of business etiquette in clothes.
The fair sex, at least those who would like to achieve career growth using only their professional qualities, should avoid short skirts and too tight clothes.
The color scheme of a business women's wardrobe is elegant and discreet shades, as a color accent in some ensembles, the presence of saturated colors is allowed, for example, fuchsia, turquoise, shades precious stones.
Business woman's shoes are classic beige or black pumps or shoes with steady heels. Ballet flats and mules are comfortable, but it's best not to be seen by your boss, clients, or business associates wearing them.

Formal dress code

Those who believe that an evening dress is necessarily a long chic dress are mistaken. Evening festive costumes are as diverse as our everyday clothes. And the choice of this or that dress completely depends on the event that is expected. Even there is a special etiquette of evening dresses.

It is clear that the evening is different in the evening. There are both official events and unofficial ones. And if on the latter we allow a fairly free choice of outfits, then the former are limited by certain limits.

"White Tie" (White Tie) - a dress code for an event that is distinguished by special solemnity. It could be an awards ceremony, a presidential reception, or other similar evenings. Women's attire for such events should consist of a long dress in non-flashy tones. Hands must be covered, so gloves are a must. The image of an elegant lady should be completed with high-heeled shoes and a small handbag. Jewelry and loose hair are unacceptable for this style of clothing.
"Black Tie" (Black Tie) - a long or cocktail dress. Jewelry may well be used as decoration, but the presence of gloves is not necessary. In this outfit, it is quite possible to be present at theatrical premieres or wedding banquets. Use a fur coat as capes, although the presence of fur in clothes is not a prerequisite for an outfit for such events.
“Black tie is welcome” (Black Tea Invited) - a similar form of clothing is allowed at events where relatives and friends are present: corporate parties, family celebrations. Here it is quite possible to wear a regular festive costume, as an alternative to a cocktail dress.
“Black Tie Optional” is another type of clothing for close and family celebrations. An outfit assembled from elements of several sets is allowed here.
“Black tie, creative approach” (Creative Black Tie) - this form of clothing is in many ways similar to Black Tie, the only difference is that non-standard solutions are welcome here in making a combination of clothes. Creativity is not prohibited, but rather encouraged.
"Semi formal" (Semi Formal). The dress code largely depends on what time the event starts, be it a family or a dinner party, corporate party. Until 18:00, you may well come in a day dress or just a festive costume. If the meeting time is scheduled for the evening, then you need to wear a cocktail dress.
"Cocktail" (Cocktail Attire) - semi-official events. Despite the name, one cocktail dress is not limited here. Holiday outfits are perfect too.
“After five” (After 5) - in a similar name, the time of the event is indicated - after 17:00. If there aren't any special instructions, then you can wear the same outfits as for Cocktail Attire.
"Easy evening style" (Dressy Casual) - all these evenings are semi-formal. The only requirement for a woman: she must wear clothes from famous designers.

But I must say that etiquette is not limited to the mere correspondence of the type of meeting and dress code. The rules also apply to the level of openness female body. So, for example, a dress with a neckline should not be worn at events that take place before 18:00. It is appropriate only after 20:00. And if your outfit has a deep neckline, then you can wear it only from 22:00. Shoulders can be bared only after 19 hours. If your outfit includes gloves, then the following rule applies: the shorter the sleeve, the longer the glove.

If the holiday starts after 20:00, then you can put on silk kid, cloth or lace gloves, and complement the festive clothes with a handbag made of beads, brocade or silk. A hat - if you put it on, then during the evening you will have to constantly be in it. But this is only when you are not the hostess of the evening.

In this case, you are not entitled to a hat. There is even a rule on the fabrics that are used for various events. So, at meetings that take place until 20:00, fashion designers offer to use clothes made of silk and wool. If it's about evening dress, then crepe, brocade, tarfa, silk, lace are used. Remembering these rules of etiquette is not so difficult, but with the help of them you will never find yourself in an awkward situation.

Ability to present yourself

We all know that the most important thing is what a person has inside. But at the same time, we unconsciously continue to evaluate others by their appearance and behavior. And the first impression is often so strong that it is extremely difficult to change it in the future. As a result, a person cannot climb the career ladder, win the favor of others, find his place in the team, and not only.

Advice! That is why it is so important to learn how to properly present yourself when communicating with other people.

Only in this way will you be able to form the right impression of yourself and show others how interesting you really are.

To attract the appropriate attention, it is not enough to wear a fashionable suit and purchase expensive accessories. If you want to present yourself correctly, then you should approach this issue comprehensively.

Define your strengths . You need to understand what exactly sets you apart from others. For example, you can make decisions quickly, easily win over other people, and have a great sense of humor. Having understood your unique qualities, do not hide them from others, but actively demonstrate and put them into practice.
Learn to be proud of what you have. No matter how gray and boring our lives sometimes seem to us, in reality, each of us has something that we could be sincerely proud of. Cozy apartment, collection of retro records, interesting work, talented children, faithful friends. Enjoy these moments and don't be afraid to brag a little about them to others.
Don't be afraid to share your accomplishments. Even if it's already gone certain time. Excessive modesty can decorate few people. And do not be afraid that others will consider you overly arrogant. Talking about your youthful sporting achievements or about self attempt learn Spanish, you will only allow others to know and understand you better.
Don't be afraid to leave your comfort zone. This rule applies to both work and personal life. Sometimes you need to do what scares you the most - ask your boss for a promotion, be the first to strike up a conversation with an interesting person, volunteer to organize a party, and more. Although such undertakings do not always end with the desired result, you will undoubtedly be able to attract positive attention with their help.
Make your life more fulfilling. Most of us know only work and home, we have little interest in anything and almost nothing. There is nothing surprising in the fact that such people are perceived as mediocre. If you caught yourself on the fact that your life is becoming more and more gray and the same type every day, then it's time to return bright colors to it. Try to get carried away with something, find new friends, go on a trip. New experiences will make your eyes glow, which will be instantly noticed by the people who surround you.
Don't be afraid to look stupid. If you are trying to stay in the background and do not want to attract too much attention to yourself, in fear of saying something inappropriate, then you are wrong. People will instantly open up to you if you stop avoiding them. In this case, your knowledge or communication skills will play almost no role.
Be kind. If you want to form a positive opinion of yourself among others, then try to be as open as possible when communicating with other people. Your friendliness will be immediately noticed and appreciated. Remember that positive and open natures achieve much more in life than gloomy and withdrawn people, no matter how talented they really are.

Rules of etiquette

For men and women, the general rules of etiquette are somewhat different.

For men

The image of a well-bred young man consists not only of the ability to behave well towards a woman. Opening the door for a lady, letting her in front of you or helping to carry a heavy bag is certainly good, but the rules of etiquette for men do not end there. Polite speech, a culture of behavior, a well-chosen suit and much more are also an integral part.

There are 14 basic rules of behavior for men in relation to women that every self-respecting modern young man should know:

On the street, a young man must accompany a lady, walking along left side from her. WITH right side only the military have the right to go to salute if necessary.
If a girl stumbles or slips, a man must certainly hold her by the elbow. Although in real circumstances the choice remains with the lady.
Good manners do not allow smoking in front of a lady, only after her consent.
A real man always lets the lady go ahead, having previously opened the door for her.
When climbing or descending the stairs, the young man is obliged to support his companion if necessary, for this he is a couple of steps away from her.
When entering the elevator, the man must enter it first, and when leaving, let the girl through first.
The young man gets out of the car first, who, bypassing the car, opens the door on the passenger side, giving the lady a hand. If a man is a driver of transport, then he is obliged to open the front passenger door and help the lady sit down. In case the gentleman is also a passenger, he needs to sit in the back seat with his companion. It should be remembered that in this case, the girl first gets into the car, and then the man next to her.
Entering the room, a man helps the lady take off her coat, and leaving it, he must help put it on.
In the modern world, a young man is not supposed to find a seat for himself if a woman is standing.
According to etiquette, a young man needs to come to a meeting before a lady, so as not to put her in an uncomfortable situation if she is late. In emergency cases, you should notify the girl about this and apologize to her.
A man is obliged to help every woman to carry large bags or any bulky items. These do not include a woman's handbag, as well as small fur coats and coats, except for the case if the lady is not able to carry her things herself because of her health.
The main mistake a young man, when communicating with someone, is crossing his arms, as well as sorting something in his hands. This is considered a sign of disrespect to the opponent.
When going to a restaurant, the gentleman first comes in so that the head waiter makes the right conclusions about who invited whom and who will pay the bill. With a large number of people, the first person to enter is the one who will pay and is the initiator of the invitation.
Being in a company, a young man with a girl is forbidden to speak on frank topics, it is better to choose light, unobtrusive subjects for discussion.

For women

There is a certain set of rules that will help to avoid embarrassing moments in life situations in which every girl gets every day.

When you meet someone you know on the street, be sure to greet them. Consider the degree of closeness of your relationship. You should not show excessive emotions too loudly and violently or try to call out to a friend across the street, it is enough to meet eyes and nod to each other.
Avoid snacking on the go outside. Firstly, there is a high probability of choking, and secondly, you can inadvertently stain a random passerby. This also applies to eating in shops or other public places that are not intended for this.
During a telephone conversation, make sure that your voice is not too loud. If this is not possible, move away from the main crowd - your negotiations should not be in the public domain.
Do not sort things out in public if you do not want to receive the condemnation of others. Passionately kissing with your gentleman is also not worth it.
Don't get into fights with strangers. If you have made a remark, even unfair, it is better to apologize or remain silent. Remember that you are a real lady.
Try not to be late for meetings, come on time if you are invited to visit. Punctuality is an elementary rule of decency that any woman must comply with. If, despite everything, you understand that you are not on time, be sure to call in advance and warn how long you will be late.
Be mindful of your posture and gestures while talking. Your movements should be restrained, smooth, feminine, should not attract attention and shock.
Makeup girl must match the situation. During the day and at work, it is better to choose neutral decorative cosmetics in natural tones, but an evening social event allows you to apply bright lipstick and glitter eyeshadow.
A trip to a restaurant begins with studying the menu and making an order. Do not be afraid to ask the waiter, for example, about the ingredients, the method of serving, the cooking time of the dish.
If the waiter brought your order earlier than the others, you should not immediately grab the fork and knife. In this case, you must wait until everyone has plates on the table.
Defiant behavior always repels others, especially men, at any stage in the development of relationships. Remember that a woman should always remain a mystery and understatement, so do not violently express your emotions - do not forget about restraint.
Don't be too intrusive. Even if the relationship is going through a “candy-bouquet” period, you should not often call or write messages to your partner. Only one call from a woman should fall on three or four calls from a man.
Too indifferent and arrogant girl should not be either. This will be perceived as disrespectful and will alienate a potential partner.
With pleasure, let a man take care of you, but do not wait and do not demand when, for example, they open the door for you or give you flowers.

For kids

By teaching kids about etiquette and giving them a set of guidelines, we are actually equipping them with the tools to make them heard, build their confidence in their own abilities, and set them up for future success.

So, here is a list of etiquette rules that parents should teach their children.

Greet the person by name, and if you don't know their name, ask. Greeting by name is a sign of respect that tells a person that you appreciate him. Therefore, it is important to teach children to always greet adults by their first and middle names or ask if they do not know their names.
Never be afraid to ask again if you forget the name of the interlocutor: people understand that sometimes children can forget names. Everyone does it. In this case, the phrase is quite acceptable: "I'm sorry, I can't remember your name, could you remind me of it?".
Try to look the interlocutor in the eye: looking into the eyes of a person while communicating with him is useful not only for children, but also for adults. Also, teach children not to be distracted; otherwise, the interlocutor will receive a signal that you are not interested in him. Eye contact is simple but effective method help children win the heart of every adult they meet on their life path. Of course, if such eye contact is characteristic of a given culture and social norms.
Remembering details and active listening: this is a simple rule of good manners, but it has a significant impact on how other people perceive you. Remembering names and specific details (such as an illness or a recent return from vacation) suggests caring and respect.
Be careful - stop and look around: children are often blissfully unaware of their surroundings. They have one motivation for another. For example, you came with the kids to the zoo, and while you are looking at the elephants, they suddenly notice something interesting in another place. Without thinking for a second about what is around them, the kids run like crazy and almost fall under the wheels of an elderly person's wheelchair, who begins to worry and get angry for obvious reasons.
Red light, yellow light, green light: you may have noticed that teachers, swimming and football coaches, and many other adult mentors in your children's lives use this valuable tool. By using the green light to "go", the yellow light to "slow down", and the red light to "stop", you can control the movements and movements of children without raising your voice. Start using this method as early as possible and introduce it to your little ones as a game. Soon, with practice, they will become very good at determining when to “go,” when to “slow down,” and when they should “stop.”
Removing hands from the glass: this rule may seem a little ridiculous. Teach children not to touch glass surfaces, especially dirty ones, so that they do not leave stains, and your dance teacher, store owner, librarian, doctor and many other people will be very grateful to you.
Eating off someone else's plate - even mom's - is a bad idea: some families play the game of "stealing" food from each other's plates. This can be very funny and acceptable at home when the whole family participates in and enjoys such a game, but it ceases to be funny when someone who does not understand this kind of joke is involved in it. Eating food off another person's plate is unacceptable. It's much better to politely ask for supplements, even if Mom or Dad has to give the child the supplement off their plate.
Napkin on knees, elbows off the table: these etiquette rules are considered old-fashioned these days and many people treat them a little casually. However, since different families have different traditions, children should be taught these rules of behavior at the table so that in any situation they remain on top.
Don't reach for anything. An old but true rule. Norm of etiquette is not allowed to reach across the entire table for something. Every parent knows how frustrating it is when a child overturns a glass and spills its contents on the dining table. In order not to spill tea on your neighbor's lap and not to make everyone sitting at the table nervous, you must politely ask to give you what you want.
In conversations with adults, wait to be spoken to: this is a rather old-fashioned rule that has lost its appeal in recent decades. However, in today's technological world, where it's hard to tell when an adult is busy, it's actually very important that kids don't interrupt a person when they're talking.
Watch your words: before, bullying and harassment (bullying) happened only in person. Most parents teach their children the importance of being kind in person because bullying is unacceptable. However, malicious comments and insults have now moved into cyberspace and are often beyond the control of adults. Do your best to make the children understand that words can hurt another person.

How to behave in society?

The rules of etiquette, they are also the elementary rules of respect and courtesy, work both ways. You show them to another person, he shows them to you.

That way everyone wins. But there are several nuances that are worth recalling and clarifying for every self-respecting person:

Never visit without calling. If you are visited unannounced, you can afford to be in a dressing gown and curlers.
Whoever you are - a director, an academician, an elderly woman or a schoolboy - when you enter the room, say hello first.
Handshake: it is not customary to shake hands with women, but if she extends her hand to a man first, you should shake it, but not as hard as men.
Rules for paying for an order in a restaurant: if you say the phrase “I invite you”, it means you are paying. If a woman invites a business partner to a restaurant, she pays. Another wording: "Let's go to a restaurant" - in this case, everyone pays for himself, and only if the man himself offers to pay for the woman, she can agree.
The umbrella never dries in the open state - neither in the office, nor at a party. It must be folded and placed in a special stand or hung.
The bag cannot be placed on your knees or on your chair. A small elegant clutch bag can be put on the table, a bulky bag can be hung on the back of a chair or placed on the floor if there is no special high chair (these are often served in restaurants). The briefcase is placed on the floor.
The golden rule when using perfume is moderation. If by the evening you smell your own perfume, know that everyone else has already suffocated.
If you are walking with someone and your companion says hello to a stranger, you should also say hello.
Cellophane bags are only allowed upon return from the supermarket, as well as branded paper bags from boutiques. Carrying them with you later as a bag is redneck.
The man never wears women's bag. And he takes a woman's coat only to carry it to the locker room.
Home clothes are trousers and a sweater, which are comfortable but have a decent look. Bathrobe and pajamas are designed to get to the bathroom in the morning, and from the bathroom to the bedroom in the evening.
From the moment the child settles in a separate room, get used to knocking when you go to him. Then he will do the same before entering your bedroom.
The man always enters the elevator first, but the one closest to the door exits first.
In a car, the seat behind the driver is considered the most prestigious, it is occupied by a woman, a man sits next to her, and when he gets out of the car, he holds the door and gives the lady a hand. If a man is driving, it is also preferable for a woman to take a seat behind him. However, wherever a woman is sitting, a man should open the door for her and help her out.
Talking publicly about the fact that you are on a diet is a bad form. Moreover, it is impossible under this pretext to refuse dishes offered by a hospitable hostess. Be sure to praise her culinary talents, while you can not eat anything. You should also deal with alcohol. Don't tell everyone why you can't drink. Ask for dry white wine and sip lightly.
Taboo topics for small talk: politics, religion, health, money.
Every person who has reached the age of 12 is supposed to be addressed with "you". It's disgusting to hear people say "you" to waiters or drivers. Even to those people with whom you are well acquainted, in the office it is better to turn to “you”, to “you” - only in private. The exception is if you are peers or close friends.

Business Etiquette

Below are the main characteristics of etiquette business communication. Observing them, a person will be able to inspire confidence in himself, climb up the career ladder in a relatively short period of time.

These norms cannot be discarded or pretended that they do not exist at all. Business etiquette is associated with certain rules that cannot be ignored. Let's consider them in more detail.

Politeness
The etiquette of business interaction implies that the interlocutor must be addressed with emphatic politeness. Even if you are talking with someone who is obviously unpleasant to you, you should not show your true attitude. Politeness is an integral part of business communication etiquette. It is difficult to imagine the head of a serious enterprise who would be distinguished by increased emotionality and impressionability. Etiquette teaches you to restrain your emotions, to suppress them at the right time. Otherwise, a person simply will not be able to fully manage the team and monitor the work of other people.
Emotion control
Business etiquette suggests that showing your emotions in front of people is unacceptable. In the presence of business partners or colleagues, fears, doubts, and insecurities should not be shown. All this has no place in the world of business or even just in the service. Otherwise, a person will never be able to feel protected, but will become vulnerable to any jokes, gossip and gossip from the environment. It is unlikely that anyone wants to become the subject of negative discussions or acquire a reputation for being unrestrained, ill-mannered. Controlling emotions allows you to avoid unnecessary questions, maintain your own reputation and gain the respect of colleagues, subordinates and superiors for your own person.
Punctuality
Every meeting must be on time. Whatever the subject of discussion concerns, whatever aspects it affects, the time of arrival at the place of negotiations must be strictly observed. It is better to arrive ten or fifteen minutes early than to be late and make everyone wait for you alone. To be late means to be disrespectful to business partners who have gathered in a particular place to discuss important issues.
Information privacy
Business etiquette implies that all available information, which is of undeniable importance, must not be disclosed to third parties. Outsiders should not have anything to do with what is happening and should not know any details of ongoing business transactions. Data confidentiality helps to make the process of business cooperation as convenient and mutually beneficial as possible. If you do not pay enough attention to the issue of business etiquette, you can find yourself in a very awkward and difficult situation.
Speech control
Business etiquette implies that your speech must be carefully considered. Before saying anything out loud, it is better to make sure that the chosen phrases and their meaning are correct. Speech control allows you to achieve positive effect negotiating and avoid awkward situations, which may accidentally arise under the influence of emotions.

Etiquette in public transport

According to statistics, we spend an average of an hour a day in public transport. Someone is pushing, someone is fragrant with perfume, and someone is leaning on your leg with an umbrella-cane for half of this time. And there is nothing pleasant in such trips.

To make life easier for each other and make daily "journeys" more enjoyable, you should adhere to simple rules etiquette:

Wagon arrived? No need to break on the door, let people go out and then just go in. Do not push small children forward to run in and sit down. On the one hand, this is ugly, on the other hand, they can simply be demolished by people leaving, especially during rush hour.
If you want to help an elderly person (child, pregnant woman, visually impaired) when boarding a transport, then you must first ask if they need it.
When entering the transport, it is necessary to remove backpacks and bulky bags from the shoulders so as not to cause inconvenience to other citizens. Even large handbags should be removed from the shoulder and kept at knee level.
All seats in the metro, trolleybuses, trams are intended for older people, with handicapped, for expectant mothers and passengers with small children. If these people are sitting, and there are empty seats, then women are allowed to take them.
If a man is in public transport with a companion, then he must definitely thank the one who gave her a seat.
It is better to give way after visual contact. This will help to understand whether a person needs such courtesy. Silently getting up and pointing a person to his place is not worth it. You should say the phrase: "Sit down, please."
Looking into a neighbor's book or phone is ugly. Closely examine the passengers - too.
Many people do not tolerate strong odors, so pour a bottle of perfume on yourself and go into public transport after you ate a spicy garlic burrito, if possible, do not - use chewing gum.
Sitting with your legs spread wide or stretching them across the entire aisle is not nice - you take away space from people.

Psychological activity for younger teenagers

A psychologist at school is a special person: he is sometimes trusted more than close people, he knows how to listen, understand and advise something. He can tell a lot of interesting and important things: what the child's soul asks for. In the lessons, relationships are businesslike, regulated, and in these classes you can get closer, try to understand each other. Confidential conversations or spontaneous games are able to set everyone on the same wavelength, which will intensify from the unexpectedly appeared unity. To discover infinity in oneself is very scary at first, and later it is terribly interesting.

Purpose of the lesson: instill in students the need to comply with the norms of behavior.

Tasks:

Provide insight into the need for regulation human relations;

Develop the ability to correlate your own feelings with the feelings of others.

Equipment: blackboard, chalk, student workbooks for recording.

STUDY PROCESS

Leading. Guys! Today we have an unusual activity. We will conduct real scientific research with you! Who can say what the word "research" means? (Students answer.)

In general, you have identified everything correctly. Yes, this is the study of something new, as yet unknown to others. But scientific research differs in that from the very beginning the scientist poses some kind of question, to which he seeks an answer with the help of research. Before writing down any very serious and important statement, scientists conduct many experiments. They make sure to check whether their conclusions are correct.

So today we will try to ask ourselves a question and, by experiment, find an answer to it.

First, we will open notebooks in which we will write down the date and from a new line - “Experiment”. And here is the question to which we will look for an answer (we will write from a new line):

Why does a person need different rules in life?

Can you now answer this question, without experiment? (Children vying to express a variety of versions.)

What did we get? Each of you thinks in your own way, there is no agreement between you. And the most interesting thing is that everyone speaks correctly. So? That's it in order to find one answer for everyone, investigating the problem (and we have a problem with you: there is no consensus), scientists conduct experiments. This means that an experiment should always have a goal: why you have to do this and that.

So let's write in notebooks from a new line: "The goal is to find the reason that makes people live by the rules."

(At this time, the teacher draws a blank for playing tic-tac-toe on the blackboard. Children will be happy to recognize this picture.)

Draw a tic-tac-toe field in your notebooks and let's start our experiment! I promise you that I can beat everyone! (Some guys disagree with this statement.) We'll see, we'll see.... So, I start first.

Passing through the class, the leader in each notebook draws a cross in any cell. Then he invites the children to make a return move "zero" and continues the game. Having reached the third move, teacher, breaking the rules of the game, he crosses out the crosses the way he wants, declaring to each student: “I won!” This causes violent protest. But you need to reach the very last player, continuing to break the rules. The most “noisy” ones can be reassured by whispering in your ear that you have to wait for the end of the experiment.

Ouch! How you scream! Why?

The children are screaming:

- You broke the rule!

- They don't play like that!

- You can not do it this way!

– Why are you doing this?

- This is unfair!

What I did? That's right, I violated rule! Now let's calm down and, like real scientists, try to find the answer: what happened? What caused such outcry and such indignation? First, let's try to look into ourselves, "pupils inside," as the British say.

(Children gradually calm down.)

Try to answer the question: “How did you feel when I declared myself the winner in a wrong way? What feelings did you have?"

(The teacher asks everyone, writing the answer on the board.)

So, indignation, feeling that you have been deceived, resentment, thoughtfulness, discontent, shock, irritation, anger, anger ...

Let's write down these words that tell about your condition in notebooks.

Tell me, are these feelings light, pleasant or dark, ugly?

(Almost unanimously it sounds like these are dark, ugly feelings.)

That's how! You unanimously decided that these are dark, ugly feelings! Unanimously guys! Everyone felt the same, everyone said the same thing. And what did you want to do when you suddenly felt the pain of resentment?

That's right, you started screaming! Why? Because I did not want to immediately stop in my violations, and you could not stop me! So?

(This time, surprisingly, the children no longer scream, they try to speak more calmly. You can see how they slowly analyze themselves, their feelings in the context of words and actions.)

What conclusion can we draw? Right. When someone breaks the rules, the other person feels bad: he feels that his good mood and hope destroyed, broke. Everyone agrees? Then we write the conclusion in notebooks: "By breaking the rules, a person destroys the bright feelings of another person."

Guys! Let us now answer our question: Why Does a person need rules in life?

(Children answer.)

Does this mean that living by the rules can help people be kinder?

Will other people treat us well if we break the rules?

So why do people need rules?

And now you yourself must try to answer the difficult question that you have asked me many times. " Why does it happen that teachers sometimes or often raise their voice at you during the lesson? What does raised tone of the teacher's voice?

(Almost unanimously, the guys agree that this is not just the result of a student’s “bad” behavior, but a violation of the rules of conduct in the lesson. It is proposed to name the rules of behavior known to students in the lesson.)

Guys! Did you enjoy experimenting? By experimental method you on one's own were able to determine how you should behave not only in the classroom, but also in everyday life. If you and I want to live in peace, if we want to have many friends, if we don’t want to destroy our good mood, we must remember our conclusion: “Breaking the rules, we destroy the other person’s bright feelings for us. We are losing friends. We begin to be offended, cry, suffer. And all just because we ourselves do not follow the rules that are established in society.

Violation of the rules leads the whole world of human relations to the state that you yourself called. And you yourself said that these are dark, ugly feelings, they destroy people's relationships.

Saying goodbye to you today, I would like to wish you to always remember that your good mood depends only on whether you know how to follow the rules.

P The lesson presented to your attention was held in the fifth grade. For the same methodological development took classes in the sixth grade. The result was stunning. For the first time (this was reflected on their faces during the discussion), the children thought for the first time that the teacher is also a person and he has the right to feelings. The fact is that during the discussion it is necessary to pay some attention teacher's feelings in relation to those who violate the rules of conduct in the classroom.

Children, younger teenagers, and sometimes quite “adult” older teenagers quite often endow teachers with unpleasant epithets, stick labels, form an attitude towards them, which is later transferred to the subject that the teacher teaches. But after this lesson, the students suddenly discovered the reason for the irritation of the teachers.

Saying this, it is worth paying attention that sometimes the source of the violation is not one student, but several people, and more than once per lesson. Invite students to think about whether it is possible to add up those "dark" feelings that they themselves named and place them in the heart of one person - the teacher. Children willingly agree that this is exactly what often happens. After that, ask the question “on the backfill”: “Is it possible to pay for good with evil? The teachers who teach you give you new knowledge. Is it possible to kindle suffering and pain in a person’s soul, thinking only about their momentary desires and whims?

After this frank conversation, the children are ready to discuss the rules that must be observed in the lesson so as not to offend the teacher, so as not to set him against himself. The slowness of the children's reactions to these questions indicates that they have begun to think...

Indeed, it is not easy for teachers, especially young ones, to maintain discipline. Under the onslaught of childish energy, some abandon the mission of an educator and focus their efforts on teaching functions, artificially driving themselves into the framework of methodological guidelines and recommendations. Namely, this will serve as a source of emotional burnout in the future: there is no feedback, no creativity, no strength to work. For some teachers, protection is triggered, which destroys many of the positive initiatives reflected in the programs. And no matter how many teachers you teach to respond correctly to violations, taking into account the causes of this very violation, they are still reactive according to its essence because the students themselves teach them to be reactive...

Modern requirements To keep diaries, it is forbidden to write comments about the student's behavior in them, teachers are only allowed to invite parents for a consultation. Overworked parents postpone the visit indefinitely, and the child at this very time develops the skill bad behavior. And is it right to shift the upbringing of a child from the shoulders of professionals only to the shoulders of mothers, grandmothers and fathers? Their methods are sometimes terrifying. Yes, and some teachers consider it unacceptable to be distracted by discipline, because there is not enough time to “drive out” the program anyway. So it turns out that a psychologist can help a teacher, and his help will be effective. You just need to be included in the system of real and large-scale problems of the modern school.

TOPIC: "WHY THE RULES ARE NEEDED"

Target: to cultivate a conscious attitude to the norms and rules, to form the skills and habits of behavior in society. Develop the ability to reason, evaluate and self-assess.

Dictionary: laws, rules, decent, ignorant, violator.

Didactic material: pictures depicting right and wrong actions, chips, flannelgraph.

Move. Before class, an “ethical” exercise “Magic Peas” is carried out (take a handful of kindness and patience from it). In the course of the lesson, children are given chips for correct answers.

Teacher. Today, we will decide what rules you need to know if you are six years old. Why do you think there are rules in the game?

Does the game need rules? Yes, there are rules for those who sit at the dinner table, and for those who travel in transport; and for those who just talk and for those who argue; for those who have gathered to visit, and who will receive guests. You know many rules, so you will help me, agreed?

So, what are the rules that must be followed while eating ... (children call)

But what if you know how to eat properly or don’t know how to use a knife yet? You need to calmly say: “Sorry, I still don’t know how to eat it right, help me, please.” This is more correct than if you do something funny.

And if you have guests at the table, who is offered to take from a common plate from the beginning? (To guests.)

When guests sit down at the table, who sits down last? (Master.) Why? What do they say to guests if they brought a gift that you already have or you just don't like it?

Now we are discussing the rules of conduct on transport (talk quietly; if you need to pass, say “sorry” or “allow me”; do not eat ice cream and do not gnaw seeds; give way to a disabled person; an elderly person; your mother; baby).

Why can't you eat on public transport? Have you seen dirt in transport? Painted and torn seats? Who does it? Can they be called violators? What are they breaking? (Rules, laws.) And what else? (Mood of other passengers.) Why are they doing this? Because of ignorance. Ignorant - who is this? These are those who do not know how to behave correctly, do not know or do not want to know how to behave correctly. It's good that you follow the rules.

Tell me, if your mother is talking to someone on the street, at home or in transport, and you really need to ask something, how will you behave?

And if it's not a mother, but two children are talking, and you need to intervene in the conversation? If they don't talk, but play, how can one intervene in this case?

Of course, in all cases, you must begin with the word "sorry." Now look, who has how many chips? It turns out that we have a connoisseur of rules.

Security Question

Are rules necessary? What for?