Why does the wife say let's get a divorce. How to dissuade a wife who filed for divorce? What to do if the wife has filed documents with the court

The wife wants a divorce, but the husband does not want: what to do - advice from psychologists

The reasons why women take such a difficult step are different:

1. Material (debts, lack of own housing, etc.);
2. Behavioral (treason, frequent petty quarrels, misunderstandings, etc.);
3. Psychological (jealousy, lack of sex or dissatisfaction with a partner, loss of feelings, etc.).

Often, men do not notice the critical point in a relationship until the spouse raises the issue point-blank and files for divorce.

And here the spouse begins to puzzle over how to save the family and what happened, what are the real reasons?

The only true solution to the problem, suitable for any family, can be a conversation.

The husband must show the attention and patience of his wife, she herself most likely confesses the truth of the reasons for the decision made, or she will clearly understand what is wrong in the family.

No need to pressure and reproach her for the failure of your family, thus trying to justify himself. This behavior escalates the situation and reinforces her desire for a divorce.

How to talk your wife out of a divorce

Some words that will make you change your mind about getting a divorce, perhaps, will not be enough. On the part of the spouse, any actions should come that prove the importance of preserving the family, and the significance of its presence in your life.

Start with yourself:

• Try to change. Maybe the reason is in the daily routine (household chores, lack of help from the husband in the household) and small changes will add color to life together.
• Add courage and brutality. Women love strong, dominant men, with their own opinion, able to make decisions. The main thing is not to overdo it. Since it is still worth listening to the opinion of the spouse, depriving her of the right to vote can only aggravate the situation.
• Show care and tenderness. The lack of attention from the husband makes you think that the relationship has come to an end and you need to get rid of them. But it's so easy to bring a small bouquet of her favorite flowers or a favorite treat, even if she keeps her figure and does not abuse sweets, weigh a couple of tender words.
• Change jobs to more profitable ones. The material component in the family is also important. And if a spouse prefers to spend more time on the couch instead of earning and providing for the family, no woman will want to put up with it.
• Contact a psychologist. He is not just a certified specialist in the field of family relations, but a disinterested person who will weigh the arguments of both sides and tell you how to find a way out of this situation.

What arguments to bring

Puzzling over the question of how to dissuade a wife from the idea of ​​divorce, what arguments to give, it is worth remembering that women are emotional beings. Therefore, remind your wife how good everything was at the very beginning of the relationship. Let her remember the wonderful moments of the beginning of your novel.

Children can be another reason. Prove to your wife, not only in word but also in deed, that children and she are the meaning of your life.

If there are children

How to keep a woman who has been a wife for a long time and who gave a child, or maybe not even one? Such a question torments almost all couples over whom the sword of Damocles hangs.

If the husband does not want to divorce, just because he is used to the status of a family man and all the benefits that flow from it, and the spouse herself is seen more as a woman who looks after the house, raises a child, does laundry, cooks and cleans, then you should not try to save the marriage only for the sake of the children.

If the impending danger of losing her reminded you that you love your family, you just began to take it for granted, then it's time to correct the situation. Connect with your children, spend more time with them. Women see the relationship between father and child and understand that another man, no matter how wonderful, will not replace him.

In addition, the child is a great ally to help talk mom out of rash acts if your wife has not yet filed for divorce.

Legal points: what can a husband do to prevent his wife from getting a divorce

Can a man prevent the dissolution of a marriage legally?

If the spouse filed an application for divorce, in the absence of the consent of the second spouse, then the law provides for mandatory consideration of this application in court.

But even the absence of the husband's approval for divorce will not become an obstacle to making a decision, since the law provides for a procedure (a very sensible article, be sure to read it!).

The only thing a husband can do is to ask the court to give a period for reconciliation, motivating that he intends to save his family. That is what lawyers advise.

In this case, especially if there are children, the court suspends the consideration of the case and gives a conciliation period, which is three months. If during this conciliation period, the spouse does not convince the spouse to change the decision, he will not have the opportunity to postpone the decision.

So that later in a hurry not to torment yourself with questions of family preservation, you should not forget here and now that there may not be a second chance. A family is the same job where there are no holidays, weekends and sick days.

Do you have any experience in this matter? Share it in the comments!

How many years have you been married? Three, five, ten? Never mind. Now you have a problem: marriage is bursting at the seams, and unfortunately, the years of a common past cannot glue it together. My wife wants a divorce, what should I do? Psychologist's advice is what will help you not only return your spouse, but also build a new, strong foundation for your marriage, for a happy family life for another twenty years!

Think of our article as a "Guide to the relationship between a man and a woman." We can give you the most valuable advice from psychologists that will help you find a way out. And avoid divorce.
So, first of all, calm down and don't panic. As a wise man who has been communicating with the opposite sex for years, you know perfectly well that women often say one thing and do another.

And not always her words: “I want a divorce!” - means that tomorrow she will go to the registry office in order to file an application for divorce. Sometimes, it's just words.
Often, women's threats of divorce are:

— means of manipulation. Women know very well that their husbands hate change in life, and they doubly hate it when important decisions in life are made without them. Such things unbalance a man, and often, he can begin to make concessions for the sake of his beloved, and even sometimes humiliate himself in front of her, just so as not to lose her. This is the goal your wife may be pursuing. Therefore, carefully observe her behavior. But isn't she lying? A person who really wants a divorce goes and files for divorce. End of story.

— desire to draw attention to yourself. Most often, this behavior is characteristic of insecure women. The fact is that when something did not suit her in your marriage, she did not tell you about it directly (as any self-confident person would do), she was silent and accumulated resentment. She compromised, swallowed grievances day after day, just caved in. Why did she do it? For fear of losing you. But resentment did not go anywhere. As a result, they accumulated in her soul and began to pour out. That is why, out of the blue, in any unpleasant situation, she threatens you with a divorce. The wife just wants to draw your attention to herself, and explain that she is unhappy. Something in your marriage seriously does not suit her, but she is afraid to tell you what it is.

— real. But in such a situation, the woman does not threaten, does not cry and does not ask. She just silently goes to the registry office and submits an application. If your lady did not do this, then she does not want to get divorced.
Next, understand the cause of the conflict. As a rule, they are rather banal, and it is very easy to fix them, if desired.
Reason number one: Change. She changed.
Well, in fact, men are extremely rarely inclined to forgive betrayal, because of their psyche. In this situation, we perfectly understand how painful and unpleasant it is for you. But, ask yourself:
Why did she do it?
Maybe your marriage has cracked for a long time, and you turned a blind eye to it?
Or maybe she lacked romance in her life, you worked too hard, and she decided to take this step?
Therefore, in this situation, you need to calm down. Don't pressure yourself. Give yourself as much time as you need for the emotions to go away, and you begin to think normally. And only then make a decision.

What to do?
Listen to her. Sooner or later, this conversation between you will take place. And if you know that you need this woman, try to give her another chance. It often happens that a wife simply lacks male attention. Unfortunately, ladies cannot live without it. And you, as a man, should have taken this factor into account.

Yes, you provided a life, a good life for your beloved, but you did not fill her soul. That's where the crack came from.
Nobody blames you for the discord. In any conflict, two are always to blame, but still, give her a chance to speak out if you are hurt.

Reason number two: Change. You changed.
Men are more likely to cheat in marriage because they have a different attitude towards sex. If the wife found out about this, give her time to recover. You can live a little separately, and only then discuss the current situation with her.
What to do?
Raise her self-esteem and regain her confidence.

And if the first point is easy to fulfill: it is enough for you to say that there was an easy affair with the “other”, which you would not even agree to the second time.
Now, regaining trust is a process that requires a long approach and work, how to do it -

Reason number three: "Household".
In fact, such a terrible problem for many families as life is very easily solved. How? You need to schedule household duties around the house, as in a schedule, as if you were at work, and coordinate them.

In terms of money, all issues are also discussed in advance: who earns more, who spends money on what, whether there will be a common budget in the family, what is bought only with the consent of the second partner, and so on. As soon as you learn to solve these issues without emotions and conflicts, you will forget about everyday problems.

In terms of romance, life is killed by an active life. Crush laziness in yourself every day, try to go somewhere on weekends, start a common hobby, and you will fill your life with new colors and emotions. Even the habit of cooking together in the evenings can be very sexy if done right.
So, let's once again, briefly go through the article.

According to statistics, in 63% of cases, the initiators of divorce are women. For this reason, many men rarely experience the hard end of family relationships, despite the fact that outwardly these experiences are not noticeable. This leads to the fact that many men are really concerned about the question: how to survive a divorce from a wife with minimal negative emotions and problems. In addition, some families have a child. In such a situation, the father will have to learn to see the child less often, to communicate with him in a different way. In general, there are a lot of questions.

Features of the behavior of a man when he gets divorced

Men who need to go through a divorce from their wife behave very differently than women. Basically, their behavior is characterized by three features:

• Most divorced men, as they say, withdraw into themselves. They plunge headlong into introspection, reflect on what was done wrong, how to survive a breakup with a woman, often such men lose their self-confidence. Such experiences are a sign of the pain of a breakup, the preservation of a man's feelings towards a woman with whom he has lived for a certain time.
• Some men behave just the opposite. They begin to flaunt their freedom, behave defiantly, they can start drinking alcohol or even drugs, they say, now no one will forbid it. Often this behavior is accompanied by excessive activity in relation to the opposite sex - if a man divorced, he seeks to show his ex-wife that he can easily find a replacement for her, he is still popular and is a desirable object for many women.
• Some men can continue the old way of life. They act as if nothing happened, they in a sense ignore the initiative of the ex-spouse to leave, because they do not know how to live after a divorce.

It must be remembered that a man's future relationships with other women will depend largely on how he experiences parting with his wife.

What to do if feelings persist?

So, in most cases, it is very difficult for men to survive a divorce from their wife, often this event is accompanied by depression. Moreover, by the appearance of a man, it is far from always possible to understand that it is difficult for him. After all, most boys are told in childhood that crying and openly demonstrating their emotions is bad and not worthy. This is feminine, not masculine behavior. However, restraining oneself, experiencing troubles inside, leads not only to nervous diseases, but also to problems in future relationships.

A constructive analysis of the reasons that led to the breakdown of family relations helps to avoid such problems. In this case, constructive is understood as an analysis that leads not only to an understanding of the reasons, but also to an understanding of the way to survive parting with his wife. Often introspection leads to self-pity, the desire to talk with friends, drink alcohol to forget. If feelings persist, and there is a desire to return to the family, it is much more effective to think about how to do this and start implementing the plan. The appearance of a goal will distract a worried man from problems and give strength to restore relationships.

It is also very helpful not to lose contact with your ex-wife. Divorce does not mean ending communication. Therefore, psychologists recommend periodically communicating, being interested in the life of the spouse, even if they divorced a long time ago, strive to understand her and support her if necessary. These are also stages of the journey to restore relationships.

How to survive the betrayal of his wife?

Often a man does not know what to do if his wife left him. For a man, this is a blow to his self-esteem, pride. He perceives betrayal not only as a betrayal, but also as the fact that a woman preferred him to another. Some do not even know how to live after such an event.

In such a situation, there may be several tips:

• The first is not to hold back. Of course, any man is an owner. It is difficult for him to come to terms with the fact that his woman will be with another. So he tries his best to stop her. But you should not do this. Here the laws of physics come into play - for every action there is a reaction with the same force. Therefore, it is better to let go, come to terms with the fact of leaving and continue your normal life. It is highly likely that soon there will be another girl in place of his wife.
• The second is to forgive. This is quite difficult to do, because treason is a betrayal. But forgiveness is an opportunity to stop experiencing negative emotions. Recognition of the wife’s choice, internally allowing her to behave as she sees fit, will help the man himself to quickly cope with the situation and find a new companion in life, taking into account the mistakes already made.
• The third is to find a congenial person with whom it will be pleasant to communicate. Preferably it should be a girl. However, you should not wash the bones of your ex-wife with her - for the girl this will be a sign that the man's feelings have not cooled down yet. Therefore, it is better to find a joint hobby, visit theaters, museums, go on a trip. This will allow you to be distracted and quickly forget about the break with your wife.

What to do if there are children?

In most cases, after separation from the wife, the children remain with the spouse. Such a decision can be made both by agreement of a man and a woman, and by a court decision (established practice). As a result, the dad has the opportunity to meet with the children on certain days, or he becomes only a sponsor - he transfers funds to the ex-wife for the maintenance of the children, and this is where the relationship ends. This way of communicating with children negatively affects not only the children, but also the emotional state of the father himself.

To avoid serious problems, it is necessary to decide in advance how to behave with children. In particular, it is advisable not to involve children in a divorce situation, and also to discuss how to help a son or daughter in the future. It is recommended not to discuss the division of property, their own relationship of spouses with children. Children should be explained as simply and in detail as possible that dad, after he lives separately, will not love them less. He can always come to the rescue, support, and communication definitely should not be less. Moreover, a man can much more easily endure a divorce from his wife if warm and good relations with children are maintained, and mutual understanding with them is not lost.

Competent specialists who provide assistance to men in stressful situations, including when breaking up with his wife, have formulated several tips:

• First of all, efforts must be made to maintain neutral or even friendly relations with the ex-wife. Such relationships, firstly, will allow you to survive the divorce quite calmly, maintain constructive communication, which means, if necessary, will simplify obtaining permission to meet with children.
• Communicate with loved ones. Many abandoned men withdraw into themselves in a problem situation, minimize communication with everyone. But it is not always possible to cope with protracted depression alone, so psychologists recommend behaving in the exact opposite way. It is helpful to discuss the situation with friends or relatives. This will allow you to speak out, relieve stress. In addition, by talking and discussing the situation, there may be some way out, which will also make it easier to experience a break with your spouse.
• Continue to achieve your life goals and objectives. A divorce from a wife is not a reason to put an end to a career or business. You need to keep on living. Concentrating on work or hobbies, on the contrary, will distract from unpleasant thoughts and make it easier to survive an unpleasant event.
• Take a break before starting a new relationship. Emotions will calm down a bit, the situation of divorce can be treated more simply, the experience of experiencing stress will appear. After that, you can build new relationships.

But what definitely should not be done is to abuse alcohol. Against the background of stress, this can quickly develop into a habit, which will be very difficult to get rid of.

Mistakes men make when divorcing their wives

Most men often make typical mistakes after divorcing their wives.

• Firstly, they begin to artificially reduce communication with relatives and friends, refuse their help in a difficult emotional situation, withdraw into themselves. This can lead to the development of self-pity, cause depression and make it difficult to overcome the situation.
• The second mistake is focusing on problems rather than work, which negatively affects productivity and can lead to trouble at work, up to and including dismissal.
• The third common mistake is a special provocation of conflict situations with a spouse. Often it is allowed if the wife lives nearby after a divorce, since it is more difficult for a man to deal with negative emotions at the sight of a once beloved woman. As a result, relations worsen even more, mutual insults and humiliation occur. If the spouses have children, this situation may adversely affect their upbringing, and the wife may well prohibit the ex-husband from meeting with the children. Thus, such behavior will not lead to anything good.
• The hasty start of a new relationship. If a man quickly entered into a new relationship, they rarely end positively. Most often, they break quickly, because the man has not cooled down yet, and the girl may feel that she is needed just to forget her wife.

So, many are concerned about the question, if there is a divorce from his wife, how to survive this event. If you really had to get a divorce, first of all you should not close yourself, communicate with loved ones, find a hobby. Answers to the question of how to survive a divorce from your wife, psychologists' advice on this matter are available on the Internet. If you can’t cope with the problem on your own, you can turn to professionals for psychological help. They will give competent advice on how to behave in a given situation, how to deal with a depressive state. The most important way to fight is to distract yourself from negative thoughts, find a hobby and focus on it. Many people get divorced, and in many cases the rule is that everything is done for the better - new couples meet, new families are formed.

Such a period was at least once in every family. Divorce seems to be just one step away. The world becomes black and white, the years are wasted, and the answer to the question: “Yes or no?” - fatal. Statistics show that women are much more likely to file for divorce, considering men to be guilty. And, as a rule, ladies regret it more. In this issue, with the help of experts, we give them advice, and the next issue will be devoted to men who find themselves in the same situation.

Before legally filing a divorce, couples go through two critical stages, whatever the reasons:

1. Emotional divorce - the collapse of the illusions of married life, dissatisfaction, alienation. During this period, the spouses are still trying to control their partner, hoping to influence the situation by force or, conversely, let everything take its course. Banal quarrels flow into chronic conflicts.

2. Despair before divorce - both spouses feel it, whatever the reasons: exhaustion, pain, fear, anger. Feelings and actions are contradictory, a feeling of emptiness and chaos. Weak attempts to return everything, but at the same time, the expectation of the initiative from the partner. Conflict becomes almost the only way to communicate.

What to do? Can you stay on the edge? And are you really on the edge?

Decide WHAT GOAL you are pursuing, and act on that basis.

Divorce talks are:

Real

If you really have a serious reason (see below for more on this) and you consciously prefer "a nightmare end to a nightmare without end."

Manipulative

Often, ladies, trying to get something from their spouse, first threaten, and then file for divorce. This can be effective: men are sensitive to changes in their status and do not like it when decisions are made without them. Some, even divorced, still believe that "she will return to me." BUT: when the divorce flywheel is already running, a man more often assumes a waiting position. And, even if he is ready to restore relations, he is waiting for an initiative from a woman.

False

Women in this situation are hostages to the actions of men who have been bachelors for a long time or have already experienced a love collapse. Having married, they begin to torment their beloved with doubts: do I love her, but for all this life or not for all? Then he says: “We need to leave,” and an hour later: “I can’t live without you.” In any quarrel, such a man immediately throws: “We better get a divorce,” instead of looking for a compromise. Just don't participate in these conversations. He is just getting used to his status, and it's only about him, not about you. If it will be very “get it”, you can say: “It hurts me from such words. Tell me your decision, I will accept it, but I don’t want to talk about this topic anymore.

WORKSHOP

Yes or no?

“The purpose of this exercise is to learn to listen and understand yourself!” - says a psychotherapist, author of the book "The Hunt for Happiness" and teacher at Moscow State University Elena DOBROBABENKO, to whom we turned for practical advice.

If you are "one step away from divorce", then your life now outweighs the negativity. And you need to create a positive attitude for yourself, which will become your motto. It should begin with the words: "I want ..." This is a magical training exercise that works wonders.

rules

The sentence must be a maximum of five words.

It should not contain a particle "not" and words-negations.

Example

"I want to be loved".

Or: "I want to have peace in the house."

So what do you WANT?

The second stage is the specification of the installation. Describe what the concept of “being loved” or “quiet life” includes for you specifically. The sentence should begin with the words: "I want to..."

Divide the above into two columns - real and unreal.

Now think: why is what is in the second column unrealistic? How to make it real? And is it possible with this person?

Imagine the best scenario for your future. Imagine it as a picture. Is there a place for your current half in this future?

Art therapy

Do you have time to write and analyze the situation? You can pass a simpler drawing test.

Take two sheets of paper and draw a picture of "I am married" on one, then close it and draw a picture of "I am not married". Set aside both pictures. And after some time, compare them as an independent expert. Which one do you like more? This will be the answer to your question: “Should I take a step towards divorce?”

TEST

Before deciding whether to divorce or keep a family, answer the questions of our test:

1. Was there anything in your marriage that you regret losing?

2. Imagine your life without a spouse. Will it have serious downsides?

3. Will it be difficult for you to share property?

4. Will your quality of life decrease after a divorce?

5. Will it hurt you a lot if your spouse marries (marries) a second time?

6. Do you have little chance of remarrying?

7. If you could turn back time, would you remarry this person?

8. Is your marital status important to you?

9. If not for the last quarrels, could you continue to live with this person?

10. If your partner admitted his guilt, could you forgive him?

If most of your answers are “yes”, then internally you are not at all ready for a divorce. Save the family.

MAIN CAUSES OF CONFLICTS

1. YOU ARE CHANGED

And you found out about it. Either kick him out, or forgive and reconcile, or start fighting for his attention. Cheating always becomes a litmus test of the state of a relationship.

Turn the flow of thoughts in a positive direction. The formula "Everything that happens is for the better!" in this case the most correct. It is not such a rare case when the betrayal of one of the spouses gives a second, fresh breath to marriage, remember, as in the movie "Love and Doves".

Adviсe

Calmness, only calmness, no matter how much it hurts. At least outwardly distance yourself from the situation, from the wrong partner. He will become more nervous if he does not receive the expected reaction: “Yes, you are a scoundrel, but how could you, I have done so much for you!”

In order not to start to complex, the wife can somehow imperceptibly see the “rival”. Practice shows that ordinary men, not oligarchs, rarely have affairs with beauties. Most mistresses are worse than wives. True, there is a chance to run into a young secretary or a long-legged escort model for status ... But this, believe me, is not at all a reason for frustration.

Do not be afraid to disappear from his life, start going on business trips, disappearing at work. He won't go anywhere. On the contrary, like a hunter, he will start to get nervous. He has already won that woman, but he is losing his wife. There is a high probability that the switching mechanism will work.

Are you eager to take on a rival? First think: do you need it? Maybe it's easier to wait quietly on the sidelines until his hormones subside. As soon as we start harming and interfering, we break the remnants of the binding threads and spend a lot of nerves. You should not bet on new outfits and hairstyles - the husband will not appreciate them now. There is a parable about Solomon's wife. When she found out about his mistress, she put on old ugly clothes, smeared her face with soot and tried to be inconspicuous. And as soon as her husband got out of the “love fever”, she washed herself with milk, put on a new outfit - and appeared in all her glory ....

Do not make scandals, do not saw him, do not put a suitcase on his doorstep. When he has an affair, he will not hesitate to take advantage of the situation. It’s better to make your rival nervous - offer your husband his favorite entertainment on the date of the date - tickets to his favorite rock band, a get-together with his friends - so that he is forced to make excuses already there. Let the lover roll tantrums - so he will leave her faster.

Do not try to quickly change your appearance, habits, cooking style. In this situation, you should not amaze your husband with something new, but calculate those “anchors” that have kept you together for so many years. Men in general are lazy creatures. Start a new family, rebuild relationships - why, if all this is already there? For many, an affair is like a trip to a resort: beautiful, interesting, but living there all your life?! The anchors of your family boat: his habits, his food, his calmness. The direct way to destroy everything: do not feed; show that you do not need it; do something bad.

2. YOU CHANGED

And you are thinking about whether to start a new life. It will not be possible to soberly weigh all the pros and cons. Too many pros will be on the side of the new novel. You are passionate and know your new partner mostly from the good side. And with the old ... everything happened.

Adviсe

Keep everything a secret for at least six months. Make inquiries: because of what your new lover broke up with his previous woman. Put him in a situation where you need his help. And, only if after that the desire to leave remains as strong, then change your life.

And remember that often men like to have an affair with married women - they are attracted by their "alien" status. So, destroying one family, another may not be built. Answer yourself the question: “Would you get a divorce if you hadn’t met another person?”

If not, why is this new one better? If the answer is "Love", wait until the hormones wear off.

3. LIFE

They say that life seizes. Not! It is not everyday life that sticks, but the inability to discuss everyday issues. Life is just an organization of joint labor. With a colleague, after all, we don’t swear at what the world stands about “who should call the client, and who should draw up a report.” Try to transfer this analogy to the family. After all, everyday quarrels are the most unconstructive and painful, when no one wants to hear the other, turning to breaking dishes and insults.

The best way to negotiate without shouting is to write out in two columns, as in a business plan, the responsibilities of each. And give the partner for approval. You can even, as if jokingly, sign on the “document”.

Even more destructive are quarrels over money. It is better to immediately agree on all items of the family budget. Whoever is the earner, if one feels disadvantaged in needs, then there will be problems.

Adviсe

When arguing about money, don't deviate. The money topic is one of the most painful, and any insulting remarks are remembered for a long time. Do not demand from your husband an account of all his money! A man should have some PERSONAL money, otherwise he ceases to respect himself. Talk about money without emotion. Feeling turned on? Inhale several times, exhale, calm down and dot the "i" once and for all.

Another thing is if a quarrel on a domestic basis is only a screen to cover up deeper contradictions. Then you need to first understand what they are.

4. PATHOLOGIES

What not to say to a man one step before a divorce

My previous lovers had more...

In bed with you, I only pretended.

Yes, it is not yet known whether this is your child!

Yes, I cheated on you more than once.

You are a complete nonentity, and without me (my parents) you would not have achieved anything!

I never loved you.

ONLY NUMBERS

Why do men leave?

According to experts, only one in ten men leaves the family because of the great love for another woman. Six out of ten men would be ready to live as before if they came to a consensus with their wife.

How to freshen up a relationship

You need to try to refresh the relationship, depending on the situation in the family.

Situation: a man, as they say, "went into himself, I will not return soon." After work, he doesn’t notice anything, he watches TV, he rarely has sex, he has zero attention ... Nothing needs to be refreshed. On the contrary, your activity will only irritate him. The men came out of the cave, and they should be given the opportunity to go there psychologically. For a while. It doesn't matter if it's 5 or 25 days. There is nothing wrong with that.

Situation: you have been together for 10 - 15 years. Life, claims, children, monotonous sex. Fatigue accumulates and begins to splash out. The body has lost the habit of the hormones of love, and they need to be re-infused. Otherwise, falling in love may arise for someone outside the family. What you need: come up with some kind of project that will unite you. For example, plan an interesting trip and ask your husband to plan the route himself in advance. To diversify sex - only without fanaticism, otherwise the husband may decide that you have someone. Psychologists recommend taking a tour of the places where you were once happy - pleasant memories unite ...

Ekaterina Kozhevnikova

Reading time: 2 minutes

Unfortunately, modern divorce statistics show an increase in the number of families that have ceased to exist, not only young, but also seemingly strong and time-tested. If your wife wants a divorce and you don't, it's not too late to take drastic steps to prevent it. No one is immune from mistakes, and the male sex is no exception. If the spouse at all costs wants to avoid the breakup of the family, he has a chance even if the application to the court has already been filed. There are several ways to quickly resolve a conflict with your spouse or buy additional time to restore relations.

Why does she want a divorce? Women's point of view

According to statistics, most marriages break up for the following reasons:

• My husband is not happy financially.
• The husband does not pay attention to the child and wife.
• “Household stagnation” - alas, behind the cycle of daily affairs, the partner forgets that the wife wants affection, compliments and romantic dates, at least sometimes.
• The intervention of relatives on both sides.
• Abuse of bad habits.

What to do? To begin with, it is worth trying to change the situation for the better. This is especially true if the wife files for divorce, the family has a child, and you not only want to stop her, but are ready to take any action. If a woman insists on divorce, then she has good reasons for that.

Take care of yourself, reconsider your priorities, because in order to avoid the breakup of a family, sometimes it is not necessary to completely change circumstances, character or lifestyle. The reason may be hidden in a problem of little importance for a man, but extremely important and making normal family life impossible from a woman's point of view.

Try not to allow third parties in family matters related to divorce, no matter how close relatives they are. You need to fight for your family and its preservation on your own, without the “advice” and “help” of relatives or friends, who can only aggravate the situation.

Legal ways to avoid divorce if there are no other options

If the wife filed for divorce, and you want to avoid this, you can use legal methods to change the situation in your favor.

It is worth taking legal advice from a lawyer. He will be able to influence the court decision, in which a period for reconciliation can be set. This is especially important when there are children in the family: during a divorce, they remain with their mother, and for men, contrary to popular belief, this is a very traumatic factor.

What you definitely shouldn't do is use your child as a "protection" against divorce. Think about the fact that children suffer in such situations more than adults.

Russian law does not restrict a wife's right to initiate a divorce process, even if the couple has young children or the woman is pregnant, unlike the husband, who will not get a divorce if the child is under the age of 1 year. However, if the wife wants a divorce, having a small child, she needs to present good reasons and evidence to the court.

Justified reasons for divorce by the wife:

• The behavior of the husband in relation to his wife, violating the articles of the Family or Criminal Code of the Russian Federation.
• Registration of a spouse in a narcological or neuropsychiatric dispensary.
• Deprivation of the husband of freedom and other moments.

Even if the trial has already taken place, do not despair! There are many examples of former spouses getting back together and living together for the rest of their lives, remarrying.

Divorce proceedings in the presence of children. How can a husband prevent a divorce?

The judicial authorities provide for an individual consideration of the decision to divorce, but first of all, the rights of the child will be taken into account. Therefore, in most cases, the court decides to postpone the divorce process for reconciliation. This should be used if the wife files for divorce, and the husband is against it. When drawing up a wife's statement of claim, the court will not take into account emotional reasons, but only facts that have evidence.

• If there are disagreements about the residence and financing of children or there is a division of property, a certificate of divorce can only be obtained after the disputes are over.

The divorce process with the division of property and other nuances can take from several months to several years. The time provided should be used if the husband is against a divorce in order to resolve differences and save the family.

• Currently, many lawsuits have been recorded, where spouses share not only property, but also the right of residence of children with one of them. In most cases, the court leaves the children with the mother, but if she is unable to provide for the child financially or leads an immoral lifestyle, the court may issue a ruling on the residence of the children with the father. In any case, the judge takes into account the interests of the children, as well as the arguments of the spouses indicated in the statements of claim. It may take some time to process a divorce claim for the right to have children with you. This factor, as a last resort, can be used to delay obtaining a divorce.

• The fact that the husband did not appear at the divorce proceedings can also serve as a basis for extending the period until the legal dissolution of the marriage.

Important! If the spouse does not attend the court for the third time, the decision is made in favor of the wife, however, provided that there are no small children and other legally justified reasons.

• If the husband appears in court and confirms his disagreement with the wife's decision, the court has the right to grant a reconciliation delay for a period of three months.

How to find a compromise with your wife?

If the husband really wants to save the marriage, he needs to remember that he must always remain a man, do not manipulate children, do not blackmail his spouse in any way, and certainly not threaten her in any way. Have children? Talk to your spouse about their emotional stress in the event of a divorce. This is a good chance to prove to her that you are a caring father, and it may also make her rethink her decision. Discuss the situation with her from both sides - and you will definitely understand what to do next and how to behave.