Typical situations are considered by the director of the Vladimir dating agency "I and you", a psychologist, a consultant on interpersonal relationships Elena Kuznetsova.

“The emotional decline in a woman turns out to be much longer, because she manages to fall in love with a man completely, since he suits her on all fronts. Women worry longer and leave longer, because they no longer even love just a partner, but also their feelings for him, ”Kuznetsova comments on the situation.

The psychologist recommends that at the initial stage of a relationship, ladies learn more about their lover's everyday preferences: what kind of food he likes, shirts, what color he wears, etc. All this knowledge in the future will help to keep a man near him.

“If a woman is smart, she should seize the moment while a man is in love with her. She must find out what a man likes, what he appreciates. During this period, the partner gives the young lady the whole alignment, everything that is possible and impossible, he is “naked” in front of her. And when a man begins to cool down emotionally, and must offer the gentleman his complete favorite set: here are pies for you, but striped socks. And dumplings - also from the list. The lady must do everything to ", - states Elena Kuznetsova.

Overcoming love addiction

The stronger the dependence on a lover or beloved, the more. It is impossible to say exactly how long it takes people to recover. For everyone - the process is individual, but the general advice for everyone is as follows.

Try to leave immediately after. A change of scenery is favorable because in a new place nothing will remind you of the minutes spent together. In addition, new impressions and emotions will help drive out sad thoughts.

Another option is to completely go to work. In this case, you will also not have time for tragic reflections.

Don't forget the gym. Work up a sweat. Physical activity will help you release negative energy and relax.

It is important to properly organize your leisure time. Try to make sure that the brain is working all the time, so in your free time, read books (but reading should really fascinate you) and watch movies. Just do not opt ​​for melodramas and romance novels, where "everything is about me." It is better to give preference to thrillers, action films, films where there is "action".

It is better to forget about the “wedge by wedge” option. This way to forget with the help of a new hobby is not very good, because psychologically people are often not ready for a new relationship right away. We continue to love and remember one person and look for his traits in another. And when the comparison is not in favor of a new partner, we are only annoyed, and no “recovery” occurs. The situation often only gets worse.

If you want to suggest your topics related to interpersonal relationships, write to the editorial office of AiF-Vladimir: [email protected]

Psychological dependence on a man makes a woman forget about her interests. She is absolutely absorbed in her beloved, his well-being and comfort, so she forgets about herself. Independence disappears imperceptibly, she becomes insecure. If the feelings are mutual, the guy is also absorbed by his beloved, perhaps there is nothing wrong with such love and excessive affection. But no one can guarantee that the relationship will last until the end of life, and in this case, the woman's dependence on the man will play against her.

Causes

Experts say that not all people are subject to psychological addiction. Confident people, leaders or individuals who are able to achieve their goals no matter what, are unlikely to encounter such a phenomenon. Others, who from childhood were subjected to total parental control, failed to develop the qualities of an independent person, resignedly submit to the influence of a man, considering them higher in position. At the same time, women consider their life to be absolutely normal, so they do not seek to change it.

A dependent relationship with a man can turn a completely independent person into a desperate housewife who has forgotten not only about her desires, but also about her appearance. At first, the couple is happy, the wedding, the first joint days of life. Then comes pregnancy, the woman gives birth to a child, then a second, becoming a housewife. She likes to take care of loved ones, but she herself does not have time to understand how she gets used to such a role. The children grow up, the husband's career too, and the woman remains dissolved in the man and the family - she no longer thinks of another life.

Another reason why a woman gets into a dependent relationship is upbringing without a father - a little girl has always lacked male influence, so in adulthood she is ready to obey a guy, becoming emotionally dependent on him. It is good if the intentions of the young man are positive.

A dependent woman can also become a victim of such relationships because of her own fantasies - she comes up with what her chosen one will be like, endows him with many qualities, and when she meets him, she hangs them on him without understanding his personality. Dreamers in the future face disappointment, because the guy, adorned with many virtues and important qualities, turns out to be different, indecisive, weak-willed, and it seems impossible to survive difficult life trials with him.

Symptoms

Many representatives of the weaker sex do not realize that they have joined the ranks of overly dependent women. Emotional dependence on a man is manifested in the following:

• Existence on "autopilot" - women have no time to stop and think, reevaluate life, think about goals. They live in the conditions of "Groundhog Day", but there is no light in sight.
• Energy dependence makes a woman see only an ideal in her beloved - she does not notice his shortcomings, bad behavior. She is even ready to forgive betrayal, because she cannot imagine life without him - for her he is the best.
• Psychological ties with the opposite sex do not bring satisfaction, joy and happiness over time, but no one is ready to part.
• The simultaneous feeling of love and hate is also characteristic of girls who are dependent on their beloved boyfriend.
• Concentration only on a man, his emotions, goals, desires - women simply forget about their own dreams and ideas, and remain unfulfilled.
• The loss of friends and acquaintances with whom the girl communicated before meeting the guy also indicates the psychological dependence of the woman.

These are energy signs of a pathological connection with the opposite sex. But there are types of addiction that are part of the psychological:

• Sexual - once re-reading a novel with non-childish content or watching a movie on the topic of sex, a girl receives an emotional charge. She knows what feelings she wants to feel during intimacy, so she is looking for an appropriate partner. When she finds him, she becomes dependent on him, as he gives her the full range of necessary emotions.
• Emotional - lack of attention in childhood becomes the reason for such a connection. Emotional communication is enough to get absolute satisfaction, so girls are ready to endure laziness, rudeness, anything, just to be close to this person.

What's wrong?

Dependent relationships put psychological pressure on both partners. Everything good, with constant pursuit and excessive enthusiasm for the second half, turns into an annoying obsession.

You can be interested in men, openly confess your love to them, support them, but you should not go too far and accompany them everywhere.

Dependent ladies in a relationship eventually turn into a splinter. The energy balance of the couple is disturbed, and the man subconsciously begins to look for another, more calm, not asking a lot of questions, not trying to turn into an obsessive life partner, which does not even give the opportunity to be alone.

Guys prefer to communicate with self-sufficient girls who have goals and are able to trust, move forward, and join forces. When women turn into faceless creatures, interest in them, alas, fades, and with it love.

The dependence of a man on a woman leads to even more serious problems - such representatives of the stronger sex are made henpecked, they are deprived of every opportunity to make independent decisions, and subsequently no one consults with them. In fact, life turns into a monotonous aimless existence, because in any undertakings a man does not feel supported.

But the worst thing in dependence is the bitterness of parting. Couples in which the above difficulties arise between a woman and a dependent man, or vice versa, sooner or later part. However, the dependent partner cannot accept the choice of the second half - the psychology of emotional relationships has made him a hostage. A break in such couples can lead to tragedy - suicide, crime, when an abandoned woman is ready to kill a rival, etc.

How to fight?

The energy relationship of a dependent person (mostly women are susceptible to this) can be helped. Loving is not bad, just distinguishing between the concept of love and addiction is an impossible task for many. If, by any sign, you realize that you have become too dependent on your soulmate, you should start working on yourself until the end of everything has come.

• To begin with, remember when you were engaged in a business that was interesting only to you. Embroidery, knitting, going to a fitness club, meeting with friends? If you don’t remember anything like this in household chores and endless “service” to family members, feel free to announce that you will spend the next weekend with benefit for yourself. It is not necessary to explain why such a decision was made, it is enough to say - "I will go to the pool" or "I am dating a friend." Face the fact of your loved one, and do not even try to feel guilty.
• Plan the future with the pronoun "I" - of course, in a normal relationship there should be common interests, but among them you need to find a place for "I". Of the 5 tasks for both partners, one should be your favorite. This is enough to not feel excessive emotional attachment.
• Imagine what will happen to you if you break up - this is not a call for planning for absolute independence. In life, you need to be prepared for everything, and such an exercise will help you cope if such a situation occurs.

Avoid dependence - when she leaves the relationship, manipulation disappears, pain, suffering, longing pass. Love, passion, interest return to their place, and depression and humiliation come to an end.

1. Surround yourself with positivity

Communication with negative people can not only affect your mood, but also ruin your whole day. Even if you are positive, some pessimistic words can make you lose your joy and inspiration. Therefore, avoid such people, communication with which will bring you only sadness and disappointment. Instead, surround yourself with positivity by hanging out with those who make you feel comfortable and relaxed. These people will support you in your efforts to become more independent.

2. Ignore other people's opinions

Every time you need to make a responsible decision, rely only on yourself. Think about all your achievements, you can certainly be proud of yourself, how much you have already done or achieved. Whether others approve of your decisions or not, your success is up to you. In order to become an independent person, you do not have to follow the ideals and thoughts of the majority.

3. Boost Your Confidence

Undoubtedly, self-confidence contributes greatly to your success, and this determines the relationship with the people who surround us. As a doubter, you will have to face numerous challenges as you put in the extra effort to reach your goal. Just relax and go towards your goal confidently. This way you will demonstrate to others that you are firm in what you say and do. But this does not mean at all that you need to behave arrogantly. These are quite different things. Self-confidence is just a way to show people that you are satisfied and happy.

4. Make your own decisions

Decision making is not an easy job. Sometimes it can take you a long time to make the final choice without hesitation. In such situations, most of us tend to turn to loved ones for advice. But still, the last word should be yours, because you have your own point of view, interests and personal qualities that will influence your decision.

5. Focus on achieving the goal

To achieve a certain goal, you must clearly weigh your capabilities and make every effort to improve your skills and abilities. Focus on those aspects that are most significant to you and do not get distracted by all sorts of little things that can ruin all your plans. If you dedicate yourself to what you are confident in, then you will always succeed, even if not immediately. Self-motivation is also an integral part of your achievement, as it will give you inspiration even when there are difficulties along the way to the goal.

6. Create your behavior pattern

Of course, it's good if you have a person who can be a model for you. However, you should not try to repeat other people's victories. You have your own personal characteristics that make you unique and you need to stick to them when you want to achieve your goal. As a rule, we constantly compare ourselves with someone else and tend to think that they are much better than us. This is one of the biggest mistakes you should avoid if you want to become more independent.

7. Become Financially Responsible

There are certain periods in life when we are financially dependent, for example, on our parents. For most of us, this is a great time, because we could get money when we needed it, and what's more, we didn't have to do anything for it. In this regard, we must appreciate every minute of our childhood and be grateful to our parents for everything they have done for us. Sooner or later we become adults and start earning money ourselves. Therefore, children must learn to value money from an early age so that they can then increase their independence and freedom. The very moment you begin to be financially responsible, you will have a wonderful sense of self-satisfaction and financial independence.

Boyfriend addiction: how to turn it into love

Dependence on a guy is a deliberate loss in a relationship. Can't imagine yourself without it and want in return the same brightness of feelings that you yourself experience? But you don't?
By uncovering the causes of this imbalance, you will understand how to get rid of emotional dependence. And then the further choice is yours: turn the addiction into a desirable relationship or get out of them with minimal losses.

Causes of emotional dependence on a guy

Emotional dependence occurs in girls who have a visual vector - properties of the psyche that form character and desires. A rich imagination, a desire to be the center of attention, the ability to feel the mood of others - it's all about them. Without love, life is not interesting to them, and emotions in a relationship with a guy are always in the first place. The essence of this type of psyche and the causes of addiction are fully revealed at the training "Systemic Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan.

Boyfriend addiction occurs for three main reasons:

1. Idealization of a guy and emotional hunger

At the beginning of the relationship, the pumpkin is seen as a carriage, and the guy is seen as a prince. A girl with a visual vector is a dreamer and in her fantasies she tends to endow the guy with those qualities that he does not possess. By the time she comes to her senses, the symptoms of addiction will already be present.

In addition, she needs emotions like air. And if the guy does not particularly demonstrate them, then there is a real emotional hunger. Even the smallest manifestation of feelings is perceived as a sip of water in the desert.

Sex, of course, is the source of the most powerful emotions; in the arms of a guy, a girl feels best. Therefore, what seems to some to be a manifestation of hypersexuality is just a struggle for vivid emotions. And dependence on a guy in this case can be perceived as sexual.

2. Unspent emotionality

Girls with a visual vector are designed to love and inspire those around them.

Their compassion knows no bounds, they know how to empathize like no other. But when all their emotional potential falls on one person, this becomes a problem. Able to potentially love the whole world, and not just her boyfriend, the girl becomes a hostage of emotional dependence, from which one treatment is to give emotions to other people.

3. Fear

Girls with a visual vector are the strongest not only in love, but also in fear. The fear of being alone provokes unnecessary tantrums and scandals that only hasten the separation.

Building a trusting relationship with a guy, understanding his character and interests, inspiring him, the girl seems to be stretching a sensual thread between them - creating an emotional connection. When she is, the girl feels a sense of security and safety, she is happy. And when it is not there, the heart is filled with fear.

The entire emotional potential of the visual girl is enclosed between two states: fear and love. And emotional dependence is stronger, the stronger the fear. To overcome fear means to stop demanding attention only to yourself, but to start giving emotions to others.

Do not confuse love addiction with a guy and love

They are fundamentally different from each other. Claiming emotions for yourself, no matter how, always means addiction.

And love is the focus on the other person. It means to live, understanding his character and his desires as your own. To give inspiration and inspire, to create an emotional connection and spiritual intimacy means to maintain a love thrill in a relationship for many years and at the same time not feel dependent on it.

How to get rid of addiction in three steps and turn it into a desirable relationship with a guy

Step 1: to understand the cause of addiction. That is, to understand the motives of their actions: their own fantasies, fears, the inability to pour out all the emotions at once on a loved one. This will allow you to see the relationship in a new way and remove the lion's share of your fears.

Step 2: understand your boyfriend. To truly see how he lives and what drives his actions. Why does he show his feelings in this way and not otherwise. Is he capable, in principle, of the relationships that you need. Then you will immediately see if your love story can be treated. If the guy is not the one who inspires you, and you, in turn, cannot become his muse, then it's time to leave the relationship with gratitude for this experience and build new ones.

Guys from childhood are brought up emotionally more closed, so the initiative to create an emotional connection almost always lies with the woman. Do not miss this moment in a new relationship in order to avoid emotional dependence on the guy in the future.

The effectiveness of these tips is proved by the numerous reviews of people who have got rid of emotional dependence and have known the joy and happiness of a relationship with a loved one.

“... A more significant result for me was getting rid of “love addiction” - a state in which I was for 3 difficult years for me. Trying to gain freedom over addiction, I turned to specialists, read various literature on this topic, listened to online seminars. It would seem that much of what was heard then was accurate and true, but for some reason knowledge and understanding did not help ...

... For some reason, nowhere, in any source, I did not find these seemingly banal truths then. A man who wants to fly even to Mars. Otherwise, there will be a lot of rationalizations instead of the simple truth: “I don’t want, I don’t need it.” Rationalizations, which of course cannot be trusted! And after the SVP training, it is simply impossible to believe such excuses! So Yuri clearly shows the nature of the relationship between a man and a woman ...

So as I listened to the lectures, I clearly saw the relationship from the outside. One-way communication, one-way actions, one-way intention, his vague and inconsistent behavior, which I could not understand for a very long time. But there were hints, but then I could not see the state of the skin vector and understand the emotional stinginess and inconstancy.

I could not understand myself either, because not everyone would attract such relationships into their lives. The hardest thing was to break away from such a negative experience and believe in myself again. To believe that from now on it is quite possible: DO NOT MISTAKE. SVP insures against errors of this kind. To enter into a relationship with open eyes, sighted, and not blind - it's worth a lot! .. "
Marina G., lawyer, Tambov

“... A strong emotional and sexual addiction has taken on new shapes. The understanding of true love (human) and its meaning was revealed. For the first time in my life I felt spiritual unity with a man. We can exchange thoughts, heal each other, get incredible sensations from intercourse. Although we cannot be together, what both have experienced and understood after going through the SVP is incomparable! What a miracle God has created! People still do not realize the great potential of Love in a couple, a group, a society... Relations with a man seem to have decomposed into several levels that can be passed simultaneously, endlessly revealing each other. It changes everything. That is why for me SVP is INHALE!..”

Love is a wonderful feeling, but there are situations when it transforms and no longer brings pleasure. In this case, they say that there is a love addiction, which can lead to disastrous consequences, so you need to fight it.

What is love addiction?

When a person cannot imagine his life without an object of adoration, then such a state is called love addiction. Experiencing great feelings, he is ready for any sacrifice for the sake of his soul mate. The paradox lies in the fact that in most cases people do not recognize the existence of a problem and take any advice with hostility. Dependence on love causes suffering in a person, and he can get upset even over trifles that are considered normal for normal people.

Love addiction in psychology

This problem is studied in detail by specialists, and they describe several forms of love addiction.

1. The loss of one's own individuality and the desire to maintain affection due to the replacement of one's psychological territory with a partner. Love addiction is a person's desire to devote his whole life to another, so he refuses friends, goals, interests, and so on. This form is characterized by masochistic tendencies.
2. Encroachment on personal boundaries, psychological territories and the individuality of a partner. There is over-control and an example is excessive jealousy.
3. Destruction of the psychological territory of a person with the use of aggression. Such love addiction can manifest itself in sadistic tendencies. There is a destruction and complete suppression of the partner's individuality.

Causes of love addiction

According to statistics, women are more subject to addictions, since they are more emotional and can completely dissolve in a partner. Dependence on love relationships can be provoked by such reasons:

1. Low self-esteem. A person who considers himself unworthy tries on the role of a victim, and he is ready to please his idol in everything.
2. Psychological inferiority. This occurs in a couple where people become dependent on each other, because they find favorable moments for themselves in a partner. As a result, they connect like Siamese twins.
3. Inexperience. Young people who fall in love for the first time succumb to a strong feeling, and in most cases it is false. By submitting to love addiction, they simply do not know that there is another kind of relationship.
4. Difficult childhood. People who have not received enough attention from their parents, or have suffered mental trauma, are at risk of those who may become addicted.
5. Fear of being alone. There are people who are ready to submit and give their lives as a sacrifice for the sake of another, just not to be left without a lover.

Love addiction - signs

In most cases, people in such relationships cannot determine the presence of a problem, but those around them will be able to identify the main symptoms without much effort.

1. from love makes you change, and a person begins to copy the interests and habits of his beloved. In addition, he stops communicating with his friends and, as it were, is protected from the events taking place around him.
2. The addict feels not from his love, as it should be, but begins to complain about life, reproaching the partner for insufficient attention. Discontent appears almost constantly.
3. Gradually developing depression is considered a clear symptom, even when longing is well in life.
4. The addict destroys relationships with family and friends by his actions and deeds, moving away from them.
5. All conversations come down to one thing - the object of admiration, and all conversations have a positive color, that is, the beloved is put in the best light.

How is love different from addiction?

Many people often confuse these two concepts, so it is worth considering the main differences.

1. When there is normal love, then lovers in separation feel normal, and when they are addicted, they suffer.
2. When figuring out how to distinguish love from addiction, it is worth noting that in the first case, partners have inner freedom, and in the second, it is absent.
3. True love inspires, gives positive emotions and helps to become happier and stronger, while addiction is destructive.
4. When there are sincere feelings between people, then there is equality in a couple, since lovers give each other the opportunity to develop. When there is a love addiction, then one of the partners suppresses his desires.

How does love addiction end?

Relationships in which a person suppresses himself cannot lead to any good events, because they cause pain and suffering, and both partners. A strong love addiction leads to the fact that the individual does not feel complete without a soul mate, from losing his individuality and interest in life. Breaking up a relationship can end up being tragic, as there are many reports of people committing suicide for love.

How to get rid of love addiction?

When a person realizes that his relationship is not normal, it is necessary to put an end to it in time and free yourself from the shackles. There are several ways to overcome love addiction, so you can try several of them at once. It is believed that the problem is serious, so without psychological help it is almost impossible to get out of it.

There are numerous psychological methods that provide assistance in such situations, such as psychoanalysis, hypnotic detachment, and others. Experts give advice on how to overcome love addiction to a man:

1. Good medicine, which is suitable for many, is a hobby. An activity that will distract and give positive emotions will make life more diverse and brighter.
2. Work helps to cope with mental problems. Success in the workplace, career advancement, communication with different people, all this is good medicine for parting.
3. Getting rid of love addiction can be carried out with the help of sports. Physical activity raises vitality and self-esteem, and also helps to improve your appearance. An excellent option is yoga, which has a positive effect on the emotional state of a person. To waste the accumulated energy, it is recommended to dance.
4. Psychologists advise not to close in yourself and lead an active life, communicating with other people. Support in such a situation is very important.

Prayer for love addiction

Priests give recommendations to people with different types of addiction in order to quickly cope with the problem. It is important to confess and take communion, go to services and regularly communicate with God, asking him for help. If you are interested in how to get out of love addiction with the help of faith, then it is recommended to read the prayer presented every morning and evening.

Conspiracies from love addiction

There is a powerful rite that helps to cool feelings, and it is necessary to carry it out during the waning moon, so that dependence also decreases along with the Earth's satellite. Women should use magic on women's days: Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. The practice of getting rid of love addiction involves the use of the natural properties of water.

1. Retire in a room to isolate yourself from external noise, that is, be sure to close the doors and windows.
2. Prepare cold water and it is better if it is spring or well, but tap water is also suitable in case of emergency.
3. At the next stage of the technique of getting rid of love addiction, a conspiracy over a glass of water is meant, which should be repeated three times. After that, drink half of the liquid, and wash yourself with the second part and sprinkle yourself around with it.

Affirmations for love addiction

It is believed that a person can attract events into his life, so it is important to watch your words. If you are interested in how to get rid of love addiction, then you should use affirmations, that is, positive statements. Numerous repetitions act as self-hypnosis or self-hypnosis. It is believed that the more often affirmations are repeated, the easier it will be to get rid of love addiction. It is important to say them in a positive tone. Example of an affirmation: “I have ceased to depend on (name). I control and manage my life by protecting my heart.”

Mantra to get rid of love addiction

There are special verses that can affect a person's consciousness, and they also help spiritual perfection, and they are called mantras. They are repeated, listened to and meditated upon. For those who are interested in how to overcome love addiction, it is recommended not only to pronounce mantras, but also to use spiritual practices. It is better to repeat the presented text 108 times every day on the waning moon. It is important to chant the mantra as you exhale.

Movies about love addiction

There are many movies that use the theme of love obsession. The most popular films about love addiction can be distinguished:

1. "Lolita". The movie is based on the famous novel and tells about the crazy love of a man for a young girl.
2. "Fear". The story tells about a young girl who falls in love for the first time, unaware that her chosen one is a zealous and tough owner.
3. "Fan". This film tells about the life of a guy in whose class a new girl appears who falls in love with him and after a while she becomes obsessed with him.

Books about love addiction

1. "Gone with the Wind" M. Mitchell. A well-known classic that describes Scarlet's love for Ashley. She realizes too late that the habit of love has long supplanted the feeling itself.
2. The Great Gatsby F. S. Fitzgerald. Love dependence on a person is also read in this work. The protagonist became a rich and powerful man, but fell in love with a girl who turned out to be a dummy. As a result, an inexplicable love addiction led him to death.
3. "Letter from a Stranger" C. Stefan. This book describes the story of a woman in love who decided to write a letter to her object of adoration, and the text took up as many as 30 pages. She doesn't know if the feelings are mutual.