The child is not able to put words out of letters. What to do if you can’t conceive a child for a long time: practical tips A few useful facts for men

Psychologist Yulia Guseva answers the question:

- At the age of 1-2 years, the result of his activity is not very important for a child, he first of all enjoys the process of interacting with the material (plasticine, paper, pencil). But after about 2-3 years, the result is already important for the child. The child begins to compare himself with other children and adults and the comparison is not always in favor of the child. For example, a child assembles a constructor, makes some kind of craft, and at some point something goes wrong. The child begins to get annoyed, sometimes cry, it happens that he quits what he started to do. Why is this happening and how can you help your child? This kind of behavior is common in preschoolers. There is nothing terrible in this. The child’s will is not yet sufficiently formed to finish the work he has begun, especially when it comes to an activity that is designed for a long time.

When a child does not succeed, at this moment he first of all needs the presence of parents or other adults. The easiest way is to sit next to him and try to deal with his difficulties, to delve into the problem. For example, a child collects Lego, but the result is not an airplane, but something else. Check the work of the child step by step: most likely, you will see that a few steps ago he made a mistake. Come back, correct the mistake together, and you will see that the child has calmed down and is ready to continue working on his own. Why does the child need help in this case? The fact is that the thinking of a child is not yet as developed as the thinking of an adult. Therefore, the child can not immediately guess that at some stage he made a mistake. And it is also difficult for him to understand what his mistake is. And an adult usually sees immediately what the problem is. It is important for a child to get a positive experience of finding, correcting his own mistakes together with an adult, then later he will be able to correct them on his own. Often there are situations when a child takes on a lot of work that is not easy to do at one time. And of course, he really wants to finish what he started, but he is already tired, and therefore it is difficult for him to complete what he started. In these cases, parents usually offer the child a rest. However, look at the child. If you see that it is important for him to finish the work, then offer to finish the job together. Let's say a child makes an application, you can cut it out, and the child can stick it on. Or vice versa. Do not complete the craft for the child, but do not refuse to help him. And sometimes there is enough parental presence and words of support: “You are doing great, I really like it!”.

When working with preschoolers, I offer parents the “When You Were Little” technique. This technique can be used at any age when the first “I can’t” appears. For some children it is 2-3 years, for others it is a little later. Usually, children who have learned to compare themselves with themselves at an earlier age, by the older preschool age, already effectively use this technique themselves. The reception helps the child to see what he has learned over the years of his life and see the prospect of growth. The essence of the reception is very simple. It is necessary to tell the child that he did not know how to do something before, did not know, but now he has learned and knows. At the same time, it is important not to speak in general phrases that the child does not perceive well. For example, you need to avoid such phrases: “You used to know nothing, but now you can do a lot of things”, “You were small, and now you are big”, etc. Such phrases will not help the child, they rather disorient him even more. Try to tell as specifically, in detail, emotionally as possible, you can add a little artistic fiction. For example, you are going to make an application, and your daughter says: “I won’t cut it, I still won’t succeed. You cut well, you better cut." What to do? Tell your child a story:

“Do you want me to tell you how you couldn’t drink from a cup?”

- So here it is. You were small. You weren't even a year old yet. You were sitting on a chair and I gave you some water in a cup. Do you know what you did? You took the cup, turned it over and poured all the water on the table. And do you know what she did? Slap your hands on the water! That's how funny you were! Are you pouring water now? No, you drink well and very carefully from a cup. Because you have learned. Has grown up. And I practiced a lot. Before, you always drenched yourself when you drank, but now you don't. Previously, you could not take off your socks, but now you can not only take them off, but also put them on, you are very good at dressing.

The theme of the stories depends on your imagination. Save the child's drawings, his crafts. You can compare old and current drawings. When teaching writing, be sure to keep the old recipes. Children are happy to look at the squiggles that they wrote some time ago, compare them with the current result. All this increases the child's self-confidence, increases motivation, the desire to do something on their own.

Conception is the starting point of pregnancy. And if a couple has problems with this, suspicions fall on the woman. But now, examinations have shown that everything is in order with her. So it's about the man.

August 5, 2014 · Text: Evgenia Karpovskaya· A photo: Shutterstock

The three pillars of male fertility are the production of male sex cells (spermatogenesis), the transport of spermatozoa, and their ability to penetrate the egg to bring genetic material into it.

Of course, the main contribution of a man to a successful conception is good sperm, because for successful fertilization, at least 10 million spermatozoa must penetrate the uterus! Its quality, in turn, depends on the level of the testosterone hormone in the body.

Please note: Men with high testosterone levels are usually of average height, stocky, with a developed torso and a lot of body hair.

What factors primarily negatively affect conception from the “male side”?

1. Age: after 35 years, testosterone production and the number of spermatozoa in seminal fluid decrease.

2. The weight: extra pounds lead to hormonal imbalance, inhibit the endocrine function of the testicles, reduce the amount of sperm and sperm motility.

3. Smoking: negatively affects the DNA of spermatozoa. In addition, the smoker's seminal fluid is more susceptible to the aggressive influence of the slightly acidic environment of the vagina, which reduces the chances of the sperm to "survive".

4. Alcohol: reduces the level of testosterone in the body and negatively affects the production of healthy sperm by the testicles.

5. Overheat(bath, sauna, synthetic underwear, cotton blankets): spermatozoa are very sensitive to heat, because the process of their formation takes place at a temperature that is 1-2 degrees lower than the temperature of the internal areas of the body.

6. Groin injuries, tight clothing, potentially dangerous sports - cycling, martial arts.

7. Bad ecology and living conditions: polluted air, work with highly toxic substances, increased levels of radioactive radiation.

The deviation of the main indicators of sperm from the norm can also be influenced by: violations in the functioning of the testicles, the prostate gland and a number of small gonads. Examination of a man by a urologist will make it possible to draw conclusions about the possible presence of any diseases or a predisposition to them.

Even a viral disease can suppress the production of healthy sperm for 2-3 months.

Start preparing for conception ahead of time:

To improve sperm maturation, refrain from smoking, taking hot baths, frequent visits to the bath or sauna. Minimize your alcohol intake as much as possible.

Attempts to conceive a child do not work? If everything is in order on the female side, the future father of the family first of all needs to do a spermogram - an analysis that gives an idea of ​​the concentration, quantity and motility of spermatozoa.

If the indicators are normal, it is carried out mar-test. It detects spermatozoa "blocked" for fertilization by antibodies, i.e. coated with antisperm. Another method for identifying the causes of infertility is the binding of spermatozoa with hyaluronic acid (determined "mature" spermatozoa).

Nutrition to improve sperm quality:

Nutrition is not the most important thing, but still an important condition for successful conception. Make sure that the diet of the future father is regularly present:

• Shellfish and egg yolk are rich in vitamin B12, which helps to actively form sperm.
• Dried fruits, sunflower oil, fish oil - regulate the endocrine system.
• Red peppers, broccoli, oranges, strawberries - contain vitamin C, which increases sperm motility.
• Spinach, turnip, almonds - increase the quality of sperm.
• Whole grains, oysters, pine nuts, red meat - contribute to the production of "mobile" sperm, as well as the preservation of the maximum number of "good" sperm.

Some useful facts for men:

British scientists suggest that In the cold season, testosterone production is reduced in men.

Brazilian nutritionists advise coffee lovers not to give up their favorite drink when planning a child: according to their observations, the sperm of men who drink 6 cups of coffee a day are more “mobile”.

Canadian psychologists say that chronic stress significantly slows down the process of sperm formation.

American doctors say that the use of lubricants during intercourse does not significantly affect conception.

This kid doesn't want to study at all! So smart, quick-witted grew up. At the age of 2, he already knew letters and colors. And as he read poetry - everyone on the playground envied. And now, how did they change it ... Why does he have such a dislike for school? Such exclamations of parents are not uncommon. Quite often, psychologists are approached by parents of children who do not want to study, go to school, and do not show interest in learning as such. Mothers and grandmothers (namely, they are often involved in their education) sound the alarm, scold, shame, draw an unseemly future for the “lazy person”, demand, and sometimes it comes to a belt. Then, in powerlessness to do anything, they seek help from a psychologist. Let's try to figure out why children do not want to study, who is to blame for this and what to do.

Possible reasons for not wanting to study

Among the reasons why children do not want to go to school, we can single out the main 5. They should be read by parents who are faced with a similar situation, absolutely impartially, without trying on what was written for themselves. Then, having calmly considered what they read, reflect on how the description resembles the real problems that have arisen in their lives that their children have encountered. In the next section, tips will be given to get out of the described situations.

• Parents took responsibility for their education.

This case is quite common nowadays. Having given birth to a baby, the mother takes care of his every step, every word, every action. When a child begins to study at school, the mother does homework with him (and sometimes practically for him), collects his portfolio, she is always aware of all school affairs. The child himself is completely deprived of the right to vote, and he also loses the need to think and do something on his own. Everything has already been decided by my mother. Sometimes the grandmother acts as a total "guardian".

How does the mother (grandmother) feel about this? Realizing that it is quite difficult to study at school now, she takes upon herself the right to help a “small, unintelligent” child. Also, the following slogan is currently common among mothers: “I will do everything for my child!” Help and attention is very important for the baby, if you do not go too far.

Another similar situation is total control. It differs from the previous one in that the parent does not seek to do his school duties for the child himself, but constantly gives orders that the baby executes. The process of completing the lessons is regulated over the shoulder by a vigilant controller, the children sit down for lessons not when they want, but when they are ordered, the collection of the backpack also takes place under the insistent "advice" of the dictator. But the result with this behavior of the parents is the same: the son or daughter has no responsibility regarding school affairs.

As a result, the child does not want to study. What is the first thing parents do to ensure that schooling (particularly grades) is not affected? In the first case, guardianship is increased, in the second - control. If you continue in the same spirit, you can "break" the will of the child. And for those who still resist, such behavior causes protests: scandals, conflicts, laziness, absenteeism, dislike for school.

• Lazy genius.

If a child has outstanding abilities from childhood, parents predict a bright future for him. Imagine their disappointment when a little genius suddenly declares that he is not interested in school and does not want to learn anything. Such children go to classes under duress, and as a result, academic performance suffers. Moms and dads are bombarded with numerous complaints from teachers, and the class teacher asks to take action. And the parents do not know what to do, do not know how to overcome his laziness.

• Lack of need for new knowledge.

Above was a negative example of overprotection of a child. There is another side of the coin: children who are actually brought up “on the street” may have good natural data regarding mental development, but the lack of parental attention and communication with educated people does not allow such children to develop a cognitive interest. In other words, children do not have the need to learn something new. If, thanks to natural data, they can study well in elementary school, then problems arise in the middle classes - the child does not see the point in learning. And parents often can't do anything about it.

• Conflict situations at school.

Often children do not want to go to school because of difficulties with classmates or teachers. In this situation, the unwillingness to learn is a secondary factor. The child spends his energy and attention on problems, but there is not enough strength for learning.

• "Poor sick man."

Children with various illnesses, which are known to the class teacher and teachers, often feign seizures and ailments. All pity them, make indulgences, treat them condescendingly. At home, you can pretend to be sick and not go to class, and if you get tired of studying, you can go to the hospital. The most important thing: no one will strictly ask for absenteeism, a decent grade is “stretched” out of pity. Then a reasonable question arises in the child: why study hard and go to school, if everything will be so?

What to do?

We looked at some of the reasons why a child does not want to study. Now let's move on to the most interesting. What advice can you give to parents? We will analyze it in the same way, according to situations.

1. With excessive guardianship and control on the part of parents, it is worth listening to a psychologist and letting go of the reins. Many parents will ask themselves: why this measure will work? Will the child roll completely into deuces? It is worth immediately warning moms and dads that taking responsibility for yourself is a long process. At first, academic performance will fall, as the child, having escaped from oppression, will begin to do what he was forbidden for a long time. Then he will feel that being a loser is not so pleasant, and he will take the first steps towards improving academic performance. As soon as the child feels the taste of success, he will no longer be able to refuse it. He will finally come to the realization that making mistakes is not so scary, but getting a reward for work is very nice!
2. In the case of the lazy genius, the problem is that the gifted child has been praised since childhood for being quick and smart. But this is just a natural given, like hair color or height. He thinks: why should I make an effort, study, in order to get the approval of parents and teachers, if I am naturally gifted and have always admired me just like that? Based on the high potential given at birth, one should learn and acquire knowledge that will be useful in life. This is what needs to be explained to the lazy genius.

   Also, according to the psychologist, if a child clearly differs from his classmates in the level of development and is bored in the classroom, it is worth choosing a specialized school for him, where a complicated program will help him feel the “taste of new knowledge”. This will have a positive effect on performance.

3. The situation with the lack of need for new knowledge is sad, but quite common. Parents can develop a cognitive interest in a child, but due to the specifics of this situation, this is most often impossible. It will be happiness for the child if the teachers at school instill in him an interest in at least one subject. The one closest to him. Having planted a spark of knowledge in the soul of a child, one can kindle a fire that requires more and more new knowledge. Fortunately, such sensitive and caring teachers are quite common.
4. If there are problems at school with classmates or a teacher, parents should delicately explain the situation. When all the nuances are clear, you need to think about ways to resolve the conflict. If you cannot do this on your own, you should seek the help of a psychologist.
5. To avoid the occurrence of such a situation, you should carefully communicate with a child with a chronic illness. We must not allow him to begin to manipulate parents, and this applies not only to the problem when children do not want to go to school, but in general behavior in life. But if a problem has arisen, then convincing a child that it is impossible to live at the expense of the sympathy of others is a titanic work that can drag on for a long time. The best thing to do is to take the advice of a professional psychologist.

Underlay straws, or how to prevent an unpleasant situation

Often a child's soul is darkness for parents. The advice of a psychologist will help to understand the possible reasons for the rejection of school and study. But it is always easier to warn than to understand what happened later, to ask the question: “Why?” and think what to do.

Tips for parents of preschoolers will help prevent future reluctance to learn.

1. Kindergarten age is the time to teach a child to learn, to work. Oddly enough, you need to get used to the process of systematic learning, it should become a constant companion of the baby (and in the future - an adult) in life.
2. Give your child more freedom to express themselves. From the age of 4, he must dress himself for kindergarten, have household chores, remember to do homework (in kindergartens at this age, kids already have math classes).
3. Cultivate perseverance in the baby, bring what you started to the end. This applies to crafts, drawings and other similar activities. Only you can not insist and force the child to complete what he started. You can, for example, offer to take a break and return to business later. But be sure to come back to see the result.
4. When the baby sees the result of his work, he must certainly be praised. Feeling success, he will strive for approval every time. Thus, it will be deposited in his head: in order to receive praise, you need to work hard.
5. Do not force the child with an abundance of activities and circles, do not deprive him of games and childhood. Thus, from preschool age, you can already discourage the desire to learn.
6. Do not set high standards for the baby that exceed its capabilities. Failure makes some kids give up. Subsequently, the child will be afraid that as a result of training he will make a mistake and receive a negative reaction from his parents, whose opinion is more important to him than anyone in the world.

What if the child does not want to study? First of all, don't blame him! Adults need to look at the situation, find the cause and think of a solution. If you wish, you can always contact a professional psychologist who will help you figure out what happened and tell you the right way out. Peace and tranquility to your family!