The wife became the mistress of her ex-husband. Ex-husband is my lover

I met an old friend and was amazed at how she had changed in five years: instead of a cozy homely plump woman in orthopedic moccasins, an elegant, stylish lady in high heels stood in front of me.

To my question - what is the reason for such a transformation, she replied: "I went beyond everything" . And she told her very frankly. The name of the heroine had to be changed so as not to miss a single detail from fate.

"I dreamed: children will grow up, and then my husband and I will live for our own pleasure concerts, restaurants, travel. For a romantic weekend we will go to a castle or a landlord: a canopy bed, a lake with boats, a swing on the shore ... The children have grown up. And my husband went for a romantic weekend - to an old manor ... with young».

Kira graduated from the history department of the university. Married while studying gave birth to a daughter, a year later - a son. Not a day by profession did not work because the son was often sick, and the husband earned enough. Kira checked the children's lessons, went to school meetings, cooked dinners. She worked at home, as she knew German well - she did translations for the trading company of a former classmate, Valeria. When the daughter graduated from the university, and the son went to medical school, Kira found out that her husband has a mistress.

Shock therapy

A friend told me about my mistress: “I will feel like a traitor if I keep silent. Do you think Sergey was at a seminar in Berlin last month? And with my own eyes I saw him with a girl in a spa hotel, near Koknese”. She looked at me with joyful curiosity and felt reality show participant.

I said that I do not follow my husband and in general everything is fine with us. She asks: “Is everything really great?When were you with him? And I think: “So... When was he? Horror, my God, I have to remember when we had sex - this is wrong, it should not be like this ... yeah two months ago. How could I not notice this? What happened to me? Why didn't I want to?!"

The friend left. I looked at myself in the mirror and it seemed to me that someone stole my youth during the time that I took children to schools and circles - where did these folds along the cheeks, wrinkles on the forehead, circles under the eyes come from? In front of me was a flabby aunt "over forty". It sounded like a death knell in my head. And the most offensive thing was that my faithful looked great at forty-five, went to the gym for more than a year, pumped up biceps like Stallone's, bought himself white slacks and a blue sweater (we chose it together). And then went with his mistress to where I dreamed of visiting with him.

How a woman initiates a divorce

I asked my husband, “Is this true? Do you have a mistress?
He said yes.

I screamed, cried, called him a scoundrel. He said that we had nothing to do together before, and now even more so, since he has changed in twenty years of marriage, has grown as a person, and I have only grown older.

In the heat of the scandal, I shouted to him: "That's it - I'm getting a divorce!" He fell silent, and I thought that I had struck him down with my threat, and two days later he said: "Yes you are right. I thought it over. We'll have to get divorced." .

And I understood how women initiate most divorces. The wife would already be glad to take back her words, but you can’t take back what was said. And it's coming to an end.

I told my daughter about the divorce via Skype. The daughter replied: “Yes, you and dad have been living like strangers for a long time!”
I got upset: "Why as strangers? I cook his favorite meals every day, after work I meet, I ask how the day went.
"Does he tell you much?" the daughter inquired caustically.

The son, having heard about it, was upset, but courageously declared that among his friends there are more of those whose parents are divorced ...

how people go crazy

Several months have passed. I got better ten kilograms. Husband looked at me with squeamish horror and rarely spent the night at home.

We had a good apartment - in the center, four rooms in a brick house. She got it from her parents to her husband. I knew that, as a wife, I had the right to part of the living space, and I asked him to solve the housing problem, taking into account my interests. He declared: “This is my apartment and my children! I will not sell or share anything. Doesn't intend to leave. Leave yourself. If you want, we will sue and divorce forever. I can give you five thousand euros in compensation - everything that we have in our account..

I had already opened my mouth to accuse my husband, but then it dawned on me - I am forty-two years old, and I have neither my own corner, nor profession, nor friends, nor authority. Nothing but a stupid diploma that won't get you anywhere. So I'm worth nothing?

In the evening I asked my son who he would stay with if I leave. He hesitates - here he has his own big room, next to him are friends, the center of the city. ... All clear.

And something jumped in me: “Well, to hell with you, I’ll take a suitcase and go wherever my eyes look!”

They divorced us quickly, because I renounced all claims to my husband's apartment. And she did not take money from him: it was humiliating to take such a sum - as an alms for helplessness.

When you really feel bad, everything collapsed, you are always alone, in your personal hell. Once you decide how to get out of hell, you will have friends and helpers. But while you are lying at the bottom, no one will be with you. Well, maybe a guardian angel will come to console you - if you suffer from a hallucinatory form of schizophrenia. I did not have schizophrenia, and the angel did not fly to me.

What is loneliness

I did not understand how to live on. I have no one, my parents died in Belarus. All married friends shied away from me that divorce is an airborne disease. And when we met on the street looked at me like I was disabled- "What would be so innocent to talk about, so as not to remind her about her mutilation - the status of a divorced woman.

Crazy Decision

I needed my own apartment. I had 15,000 dollars earned from my mother's housing sold in Belarus. I could not count on a bank loan because there was no permanent job. I asked Valeria to register me in her company at least minimum wage. Valeria, a holy woman, agreed. Found via the Internet furnished apartment in a residential area, whose owners went abroad for two years.

My husband is returning from work, and I already have a suitcase and bags packed. As he saw it, he shouted: “Where are you, crazy! Let me take your stuff!" But I refused.

By advertisement on the Internet got a job look after the old lady with Alzheimer's disease. Worked day after day. For three hundred lats, with food. Carried out the ship and changed diapers. found time translate texts.

My son almost fainted when he found out what I was doing. And what? I've cared for someone all my life, cooked food, dusted and cleaned. Now I'm getting paid for it.

Probably, the old woman in a sane state was a good person, otherwise her grandchildren would not spend 600 lats a month on caring for her. I got a passion and instead of being corroded in loneliness, I'm from loads and from austerity was very emaciated and now looked like not on a fat aunt, but on a hound.

Profitable proposition

I saved almost everything I earned- 400 lats per month. Seven months later, Valeria called me to the office and said: “We are changing the profile of the company. We no longer need translations. And need confectionery director, and one that does not go on maternity leave, that his children do not get sick, that he knows how to cook himself and is stubborn. How do you. A year ago, I would not have offered you this, but try it.”.

And I tried. I had a feeling as if it's not me, but another woman so I wasn't scared. Yes, and I always liked to feed people, and they paid quite decent money.

Six months later I looking at an apartment– 38 meters, finished on a turnkey basis, in a new building, not far from the center, with a huge corner window, and fell in love with her. I reduced the price from 46 thousand euros to 41. With difficulty, I found a bank that agreed to lend me. I figured out the possibilities of payments - I’ll pull it if I immediately pay a third of the amount. So I got my own apartment.

Where can you meet a man

I was happy and went to the furniture store buy a bed, table and chair. There wasn't enough money for more. And met in the store with a man my age- he chose the sofa by reclining on each. He told me that otherwise you can’t feel the “product module” in any way.

I lay down on the next bed, looking askance at me, and I suddenly wanted to have sex. I was amazed because I forgot about sexual desire a long time ago. She never cheated on her husband. Particularly turned on sex was not. And suddenly I remembered that I am a woman.

Feeling like incredibly vicious, agreed to go with Victor to a cafe. He said he was married and looking for adventure. I replied that I was divorced and ready for an adventure. We agreed on an adventure - tomorrow afternoon, in my apartment. I was absolutely not stopped by the fact that he is married - it turns out that all my principles somehow imperceptibly remained in the past. I just appreciated his honesty.

How did it come about

Somehow not so much. I compared Victor with my ex-husband. Victor lost to him both in size and quality. I almost blurted out: "And it's all?..", but held on and he proudly asked if I was well and promised that tomorrow will be even better.

Tomorrow was much longer but not much better. Moreover, after sex, someone called him on the phone, and he said with an unshakable face: "Yes, my bunny. Definitely my bunny. As you say, dear".

In the evening I went to my ex-husband: he promised give me everything I want from furniture if it "doesn't bring back bad memories for me". My husband met me at the door. He looked great- gray temples, fit figure.

I looked at myself in the hallway mirror and for the first time in recent years, she was satisfied: her eyes sparkle, thin, mobile. Live. For the first time we talked peacefully and for a long time about current affairs.

new year new

I met the previous one in the company of an old woman and her Alzheimer's. My husband invited me to this New Year: "Let's get together with the whole family".

I warned that I won't cook anything. The husband promised to take care of the table himself. I arrived at ten with champagne and pastries from our patisserie. And on the table - a duck with prunes, asparagus salad, candles and crystal glasses. At the table is an ex-husband, in a suit and tie. After all, there is no one sexier than a man in a well-tailored suit. And me it was a shame that some girl enjoys such goodness, but I got moderate merits Victor.

We are with children exchanged gifts. I grabbed a gift for my ex, but kept it in my bag - I was waiting for him to give me something. He gave me a gold pendant in the shape of a lily. I handed him a gift cognac, asked why the pendant. And he answers: "In sign of our meeting".

I raised my glass and said: “To your health, Sergey, and thank you for the fact that you, unwittingly, pushed me to such changes in my life, which I never dreamed of, and they all came true in a year and a half. I don't hold a grudge against you. Forgive me for everything".

I saw that he has tears in his eyes. And my throat was tight too. In order not to cry, I say: "Don't think I forgot how bad you treated me" and he replies: "I think I wanted you to stay". The kids went to the party and I spent the night with my ex-husband. In the morning he asked why did I become so insatiable and unstoppable. But I don’t know myself: there seems to be less time, more work, but the desire has woken up - the woman again became a berry.

This is my life

So my ex-husband became my lover. He picks me up in his car once a week, sets the table for a romantic dinner, buys flowers. Takes back. I don't cook breakfast for him— prepared for a lifetime. I don't ask how he is with his girlfriend. I don't care. And I'm not going back to it. He recently asked if I would like to fly with him to Venice in May. I didn't mind.

I met with Victor three more times, and then asked him not to call again. If I see another handsome man - now they come across to me all the time, I will not refuse. I didn't take a vow of allegiance to anyone.. I'm friends with Valeria, with the girls from our confectionery. My relationship with my children has changed.: They no longer see me as just an unreasonable loving nanny and are friends with me.

I built my life "as is customary"- received a decent education, was homely, caring - eventually got fat, turned into an amoeba and came to disaster.

When I went beyond all reasonable limits: refused to fight for the division of property during a divorce, hired a nurse, agreed to an unfamiliar job in a cafe, started an affair with a married man, for some time met with two lovers at once - became a man and felt happy.

And the funniest thing for me in all this is that my ex-husband, and other men, much more like me - new than I - old.

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Letters from afar

“I never considered myself a fool, and at work I’m also not one of the fools, the position does not allow.
She did not agree to play the role of a fool in the family either.

We met Yegor by chance, seven years ago, while on vacation in Italy. We were with a friend, he was with a friend. Started, spun, ended a year later with wedding rings and stamps in passports.
Unhappy? On the contrary, happy! But already alone. Rather, divorced, but with the former again.
Why didn't you take on the role of the fool?

We met, laughed a lot, joked, talked.

Egor once said that he loves beautiful and smart girls, but he only marries a fool. Or rather, one that will not "beat" him in salary, will not dictate conditions and rules, will not go beyond what is permitted, will not ask unnecessary questions. He needs a bright, beautiful, fashionable wife who will be just an ornament and give birth to smart, beautiful and healthy children. Such as his sister.
I kept silent that smart children are not born, they are brought up smart, as a rule, by mothers. A fool can give birth and raise only their own kind.

Marriage did not change anything in our life, we just began to live together in Yegor's apartment.
They worked, in their free time they went to the cinema and visited friends, kept house, went on vacation and travel.
I didn't say what my real salary is. She brought to the family budget only the amount that was 10 thousand less than that of her husband. It suited him.

When it came to children, I said that I don’t plan children in the next five years, especially since we discussed this issue even before the wedding. But the husband began to insist, disagreements appeared in the family.

Once, during a family dinner, I told my husband's sister that even if I give birth to a child, I will be on maternity leave for a maximum of a year, but at the same time continue to work, fortunately, work allows. She did not understand me, how it is with the nannies of the child, but for whom / what to give birth? After that, my husband and I again had a serious conversation.

By the way, yes, the husband’s sister and mother believed that the wife should be able to be a fool, not ask unnecessary questions, not swear, cook / clean / wash even at night, then the family would be decent. A man sometimes needs to relax with friends and sometimes he can afford to drink, not spend the night at home, go fishing. Almost all men do this. They tend to "walk", this guarantees a quiet family life and the desire to earn good money.

Two years of marriage, a year of hassle and resentment, and a divorce. I am free, the former married again six months later. A suitable wife for him was found by his sister. The new one quickly gave birth to one child, and then a second with an interval of a year.

Living in the same city, my ex and I did not intersect. Everyone has their own life, their own worries and interests, their own roads. But, as you know, even parallel lines have an intersection point. And it happened. New Year's corporate party in the same restaurant, champagne, music, a couple of pieces of slow, light snow in the rays of lanterns, romance...

Night. Then another ... And we realized that we parted in vain ...
For almost two years I have been the mistress of my ex-husband. I feel sorry for his wife, but it happens.
I don't feel sorry for his sister and mother. They wanted grandchildren and nephews. Now they have them. There is a correct daughter-in-law. And we have us. We go on vacation together, go to visits and go to the cinema. Does his wife know about this?
I'm sure she is, but she's one of those who "will not go beyond what is permitted, will not ask unnecessary questions."
We never talk about her. I'm not interested in the other side of my ex's life. I am interested in the present. My present.

Once Yegor asked me if I would marry him again if he divorced his wife?
I honestly answered: "No!"
I do not see the point and there is no need.

Tell me, please, do you also think that a smart wife should pretend to be a fool in order to save her family?
Are husband's "walks" acceptable?
I don’t ask about real love relationships with the former, then I’ll figure it out myself.
By the way, I take money from him without a twinge of conscience and without embarrassment.

All wonderful relationships and bright love emotions!
With respect to all, the reader of your LiveJournal, Irina S.

There are many jokes about having sex after marriage. But the topic of sex after parting rarely becomes a subject for humor. However, there are couples in whom, after a break, feelings flare up with renewed vigor. From this article, you will learn what to do if the ex became a lover, and also for what reasons men are again trying to return the old relationship.

From this article you will learn:

• Why do exes let themselves know?
• What reasons indicate that the ex wants to return
• If the ex became a lover - is it good or bad

7 Reasons Why Exes Reveal Themselves

As life shows, almost every girl is faced with a situation where a man, after parting, again makes itself felt. A former lover can call a month or a year after the breakup. What to do if the ex-boyfriend began to behave too actively? First of all, let's try to understand the motives of such behavior from the point of view of psychology.

• They are looking for a way to satisfy their ego

A man thus tries to raise his self-esteem. He will be flattered by the fact that the former lover still remembers him and has strong feelings.

• They want to "cry in a vest"

• He realized that it would not be different and better, and decided to return

Many couples eventually face the same problem - the partner suddenly begins to annoy, his shortcomings and general everyday difficulties exacerbate the situation. In this case, the man may have the illusion that he has not yet met the woman of his dreams. However, even having started a relationship on the side, it is possible that after some time he will want to return. There are no ideal people in the world, so a person again has a desire to get close to a girl who has already become his own.

• He has the wrong idea of ​​being friends with you

The wording "let's stay friends" very often accompanies parting. In most cases, this is just an excuse to break up peacefully, but some people are really sure that a former lover can become a friend. Unfortunately, this is only possible if the couple did not have a strong love attachment and passion.

• He has changed

A former man or lover can suddenly remind of himself if he has some changes in his life. For example, he wanted to brag about something or, again, make sure that the girl’s feelings for him had not cooled down yet, that is, to amuse his pride.

• He wants sex

An ex-boyfriend became a lover - a classic scenario of an unfinished relationship. You know each other's habits and tastes well, but you do not bear any obligations.

• He really wants a second chance

To understand that a person is dear to us, we can only part with him. If the ex-man began to actively show signs of attention, perhaps he actually decided to return you.

3 more reasons why a former lover reappears:

10 Signs Your Ex Wants You Back

Breakups are almost always painful. It is extremely difficult to stop communication if a lot of memories are associated with a person. However, it is much more difficult to understand who you have now become to each other: lovers, strangers, friends or enemies. It is possible that even after interrupting contact for a while, you will be able to get back together. Is it possible to bring back broken relationships? It all depends on the reason for the break.

There are clear signs that the ex-boyfriend is already thinking about a reunion.

• You don't know anything about his personal life

You broke up, but you have no idea how your ex lives. Is he suffering or has he recovered from the shock? Avoid dating or began to actively communicate with the opposite sex? All the details of his life are carefully hidden, and the reason for this may be his desire to return you. If a person tries in every possible way to keep the appearance of a new passion a secret, then either he pities you, or he is reinsured in case you start dating again.

• His behavior makes you suspect that he is bored

Most men are direct in communication, and their condition can be easily understood from the posts on social networks. If the former suddenly began to actively publish posts with thoughtful sayings and great quotes about love, then this fact speaks for itself. Pay attention, perhaps in them he addresses you and hopes that you will read his message.

• He calls for no particular reason

If your ex-boyfriend or lover suddenly began to call you for no reason, then he is not ready to completely stop communicating with you. Calls under any pretext and a conversation about nothing clearly indicate that he cares about you.

• He's looking for ways to get closer to you

And it goes to rapprochement both physically and morally. Even if you didn’t have a common circle of friends before breaking up, after that you may notice that the ex suddenly began to appear in the same places as you. Being in the same company, he tries in every possible way to reduce the distance, stands or sits nearby, even tries to touch, always hugs or kisses goodbye.

• He never misses a chance to remind you of your relationship.

If your relationship is over, then there is no reason to remember them, especially with a sense of nostalgia. However, if the ex-husband or lover suddenly began to talk about the moments experienced together, to remind you of some cases or to discuss your joint past, then these memories are pleasant to him, and contact with you is necessary.

• He often talks about how he has changed

Even if you broke up by mutual desire and without any mutual claims, your ex may still regret the mistakes he made. If a person suddenly began to change for the better, it means that he is trying to get a second chance and start a relationship anew. He will make excuses in every possible way, even if you have no complaints against him.

• He is jealous

You broke up officially, but the emotional connection is still quite strong. The former still considers himself your lover and for this reason is jealous of your new acquaintances. It would seem that the relationship is over, and you have the right to communicate with anyone, flirt and start novels. However, mentally, the man is sure that you have mutual obligations.

• You often "accidentally" meet him everywhere

Even if your ex wasn't into sports or going out in public in the past, after a breakup, you may notice that he suddenly began to lead an active social life: go to the same gym or nightclub, visit the same shopping centers or parks. If from time to time you meet him near work, then this should also be taken as a certain signal. The likelihood that he was accidentally in this area is extremely small. Most likely he was looking for a meeting with you.

• He calls or texts you when he's drunk

Surely every girl at least once called or wrote a former boyfriend or lover after a stormy party. However, if a man began to do this regularly, then all his thoughts are concentrated on you. Being under the influence of alcohol, he does not control himself and betrays his true intentions.

• He continues to communicate with your relatives

Even after parting with a loved one, some do not stop communicating with his family. This is easily explained: while you were together, relatives and friends became close friends with your husband or boyfriend, so they keep in touch even after the breakup. There are cases when ex-boyfriends not only send greetings through relatives, but are also actively interested in the details of their personal lives. If the former lover did not interrupt these contacts, then he hopes for a restoration of relations. An invitation to dinner from your mom is a great excuse to be around again.

The former became a lover - good or bad ?!

Situations when the ex-husband became a lover arise for several reasons.

1. First. Relationships develop depending on how the ex-husband communicates with you. Some people can become enemies, others simply lose interest in each other. However, often even after a divorce, spouses try to restore a broken marriage and become lovers. Sometimes only parting can show that the husband is the closest and dearest person. It is in such unions that intimacy reappears after the dissolution of the marriage.
2. Second. Many couples, even after receiving a divorce certificate, continue to meet already in the status of lovers. It often happens that the formal beginning or end of a relationship, as well as a change in marital status, do not reflect the real situation. An official divorce may not always be the end of a relationship. Some use it for their manipulations, for others it is a source of strong emotions and experiences, a way to return passion. An ex-husband can become a lover if a woman, even living with him in different houses, agrees to continue intimacy. In other words, such a connection is maintained only for the sake of sex. Obviously, such relationships are not healthy. This situation can be a temporary salvation. However, if you want to meet a new man, the ex-husband should not be a backup lover.
3. Third. Even those couples whose separation was accompanied by conflicts can become lovers after a divorce. This is due to the need to often intersect in work or friendly circles. According to Western psychologists, the probability that a former partner, with mutual consent, can become a lover, reaches 95%. For this reason, you need to minimize any communication or meet only in a formal setting and in the presence of a large number of people.

According to psychologists, sex after a divorce can be a real problem, and for both parties. In most cases, such relationships arise on the basis of desperation. A former spouse can become a lover if a woman wants to return him to the family in every possible way. Men who are less serious about sex continue to have an affair with their wife simply out of habit. Often the reason for parting can be the betrayal of her husband. The situation will be especially traumatic for a woman if the ex-husband lives in two houses. Therefore, it is better to avoid meetings for one or two months.
Sometimes a former spouse may become a lover not at all because of a desire to restore relationships or have fun. Often, financial difficulties do not allow spouses to leave. The need to maintain communication may be associated with the presence of common children or a joint business. In such a situation, it is necessary to understand whether there are prospects for reunification. If, apart from sex, nothing connects you, then it is better to stop intimate contacts. An ex-husband is not the best candidate for the role of a lover.

Try to ignore the problems and find life priorities. Give yourself time to think, do not rush into the arms of another lover just because the ex-husband does not get out of his head. It is worth putting an end to previous relationships, and only after that start new ones.

Psychotherapists have the concept of a metamorphic "suitcase of problems." The situation arises when a person takes away from past relationships not only part of the jointly acquired property, but also common problems, which are then projected onto new relationships. As a result, a woman with a heap of experiences and complexes goes from one marriage to another (or from one lover to another) until she is finally disappointed in herself.

Every woman after a divorce needs to take a break and temporarily give up any close relationships. Don't be in a rush to get a new lover as it takes time for you to sort out the reasons for the breakup. Analyze your mistakes, try to understand why the family could not be saved.

Only by becoming a full-fledged person without the load of fears of problems, you can start a new relationship. That's when you realize that an interesting man and good sex with him is a more pleasant prospect than a former spouse who can only become a lover.

How can a woman understand that a man is not serious about her and can only become a lover:

Thank you for reading this article to the end

Hello, my name is Yaroslav Samoilov. I am an expert in the psychology of relationships and over the years of practice I have helped more than 10,000 girls meet worthy halves, build harmonious relationships and return love and understanding to families that were on the verge of divorce.

More than anything, I am inspired by the happy eyes of students who meet the people of their dreams and enjoy a truly vibrant life.

My goal is to show women a way to develop relationships that will help them create a synergy of success and happiness!

Folk wisdom says that a woman should be a caring mother in the nursery, a friendly mistress in the kitchen and a passionate lover in the bedroom. And the first, and the second, and the third can be learned. But if we still agree to comprehend the basics of cooking or home economics, then we categorically refuse to study sexual science. "Women's Passions" offer to discard all stereotypes and try to become an ideal lover for your man.

"You are not a woman! You are an exception!

Everyone who has been seduced wants to seduce himself.
Marlene Dietrich

First you need to answer the question: “What is she, an ideal lover?” What is it that attracts her? And why do many men think that a bad lover is a hundred times better than a good wife?

1. So, the perfect lover knows exactly what her partner wants . She knows how best to caress him and what to say. Of course, this knowledge does not fall on her "from the sky", she achieves them through long conversations "about it."

The mistress radiates desire, therefore, becomes the object of sexual attention for persons of the opposite sex. She has sex not "for company", but with pleasure and joy. She is an uninhibited woman and boldly tries new positions and new places.

2. She is smart, charming and bold. Enough smart , after all, it was not for nothing that history brought the parable of Napoleon to us. Once he asked his adjutant to find him a lady for the night, always smart. "Forgive me, sir, but why does a woman have a lot of intelligence in bed?" - he was perplexed. "And who will I talk to in between?" replied Bonaparte.

Magnificent mistresses were Cleopatra and Josephine, Lilya Brik and the Marquise de Pompadour. You can read their biographies at your leisure and try to imagine yourself in the place of one of these great women.

3. Mistress allows a man to feel like a real macho, and he, in turn, gives her an incomparable sensation of a seductress. Therefore, such ties, as a rule, are durable - no one wants to break such a successful union.

4. A lover differs from his wife in that she considers a man a holiday - while for his wife he has long become commonplace. With a mistress, a man rediscovers himself: he becomes the most intelligent, sexy, passionate and generous.

Here is what Lilya Brik said about this: “It is necessary to inspire a man that he is wonderful or even brilliant, but that others do not understand this. And allow him what they do not allow him at home. For example, smoking or driving wherever you like. Good shoes and silk underwear will do the rest.” It was to her that men said: "You are not a woman, you are an exception."

Do you want to be the "exception" for your man? Tired of routine in sex? Then forward to the next chapter!

From the dance of trembling knees to self-confidence

You can save yourself from a tiger, from an earthquake or a typhoon,
but not from a woman who decided to take possession of you. Jewish proverb

A lot has been written about the art of seduction, which a lover should be fluent in. In some, it is advised to dance a striptease, in others - to visit a sex shop, in others - to watch a porn movie. You can try all of these, but now we will focus on something else.

No matter how wonderful the idea, but striptease can turn into a dance of trembling knees, and watching pornography into a humiliating copying of poses (often, unbearably acrobatic). This must be avoided by all means. Your main assistant on the way to the ideal lover is self-love.

5. Necessary love yourself unconditionally and wholeheartedly, once and for all. Try walking up to the mirror and telling the reflection, "I love you." Does not work? Ashamed? Nothing, it will pass. After a week or two of hard training, this phrase will seem easy, and you will feel like a geisha: a mysterious, inaccessible, "thing in itself."

6. Next step - love your body . Understand that the model parameters "90-60-90" are not an end in itself in life, and an ideal figure will not bring happiness in itself. You need to love your breasts, your thighs and your hair. Think: would you love your man if he was disgusted with his torso? I'm sure not. The attitude to the body needs to be learned from men - they are happy with what they have, and do not complex with or without reason.

7. Your eyes should glow , as if you are filled (and so it is!) with some kind of internal energy and strength. Those eyes are charming. Imagine that a fire is burning inside you, and do not forget about it when you are shopping, walking, taking a shower. Remember that the ideal lover radiates desire - so you try to “radiate” something.

These three simple steps will give you confidence and looseness. After you have passed them, you can proceed directly to seduction.

Thank you for every night of love

Secrets of the perfect lover

When your husband has finished eating, don't let him go to bed before you.
You need to get settled there first in order to invite him.
He must understand that you are finally ready for him.
Leave only a small bandage on the hips, the most beautiful,
and always wear pearls at the waist - they are needed for seduction.
And then, when everything happens, you can ask him for the moon:
he will go looking for her for you!

Khadi

8. The ideal lover is not only perfectly "savvy" in matters of sex, she also knows how to create a special atmosphere. In ancient treatises, attention was paid to everything: supper, incense or aromatic oils, environment, clothing.

These details play a very important role. To create an atmosphere means to create the mood of the whole evening . Try experimenting with lighting: a red lamp instead of the usual one can turn the evening into a volcano of passion.

Hang in the bedroom and spread on the floor and large beds erotic pictures (you can from your archive), and if there are none, then buy an erotic album. You can view the "before" or "during" photos. Either way, they'll do their part and fuel your passion.

Meet your man in a negligee, but with some erotic detail : it can be a long string of beads around the neck or a rose in the hair. Before that, warn him with a call or SMS about a surprise of a sexual nature. This is especially necessary if your man is a big conservative.

9. Surprise a man unusual dinner. If earlier you ate hastily and semi-finished products, now prepare full-fledged snacks and salads. Sparkling wine is welcome, but in reasonable quantities. Experiment with tequila - salt can be licked from anywhere. The main thing is not to overdo it with alcohol.

10. If everything goes as it should, then your man will “turn on” very quickly. Your task - stretch the pleasure for a long time. During sex, interrupt, rest, change positions. You can even talk, but not about household chores, and even more so not about world news, but about sensations and feelings. Finally, tell us where you need to be stroked, touched, pinched and what you enjoy.

11. After the peak, gently hug your one and tell him "thank you" for this night of love.

12. After such an “outbreak”, even old relationships flare up with renewed vigor. but the ideal lover does not stop there - she experiments with a man . Of course, you won’t be able to do this every night (and you don’t have to, it will quickly become commonplace), but from time to time you need to pamper yourself and your loved one!