Myasnikova Julia Vasilievna

The result of all the long-term work of specialists with the family depends largely on the first visit.

Besides family visitis the basis of social support for citizens in difficult life situations   andrepresents a family visit at home with diagnostic, control, adaptation and rehabilitation goals, allows you to establish and maintain long-term relationships with the family, timely identify its problem situations, provide immediate assistance.

Before going to the family specialist must answer the question: "Why am I going to the family?"   The answer to this question means the ability to correctly formulate a goal, which is a guideline for your actions in the family. If a specialist goes "to establish constructive relations", then his behavior and words will express it.If the goal of going to the family is to find out why the child does not attend school, then the questions will be different.

Purposes of family visits:

• diagnostic  - familiarization with living conditions, the study of possible risk factors (medical, social, domestic), the study of existing problem situations;
•   checklists  - assessment of the state of the family and the child, the dynamics of the problems (if the contact with the family is repeated); analysis of the course of rehabilitation activities, the implementation of the recommendations of parents;
• adaptation and rehabilitation  - provision of specific social, mediation, psychological assistance

Each specialist must formulate not only the goal, but also indicators, which must be monitored when visiting the family and linked to the purpose of visiting the family .

Indicator – this:

• The reason you go to the family.
• Objects of observation in the family.
• Description, description of the state of the family at the moment, on the basis of what you are planning the goals of working with the family.

The main task of the first meetings

• Familiarity and the establishment of a smooth relationship, allowing to continue the interaction.
• It is necessary to show parents that the visit of a specialist is in the interests of the child in order to provide help and support.
• The first steps of the specialist in working with the family are aimed at understanding the existing problems.

Familiarity with family members at home creates, on the one hand, a psychological advantage for them - they are on “their territory” and feel more protected. On the other hand, a specialist has certain advantages: he can determine in what relations family members are, how they relate to their child, how a child treats parents, other family members. However, variants of socially unfavorable behavior, aspirations to show the situation as more prosperous than it really is, are possible here.

A dysfunctional family often leads a closed life, family members have a limited circle of friends. Such a family is wary of external specialists. Family members, for a long time, being in a difficult life situation, perceive their lifestyle as the only possible one. Moreover, this situation may be more convenient for them than any changes caused by the intervention of specialists. This determines the difficulties in working with the family in the early stages. Such families may exhibit the following forms of protective behavior in relation to visitors:

• Ignoring: do not come to the meeting, do not comply with the agreement on previously scheduled meetings at home or in institutions.
• Avoidance: often change their place of residence; Do not open the doors, lock the doors, close the curtains, turn off the light so that you feel like an empty house.
• Non-participation: during a family visit, they are engaged in outside affairs; during the conversation they do not speak about themselves or about the child.
• Aggression: start quarrels, conflicts with other family members in the presence of a specialist; they blame specialists for what is happening in the family, or for interfering in their lives.

How to start a family visit? The answer is simple - with making contact.

Objective of the first visit: the removal of fear and tension from the family .

1. Introduce yourself, be at the same time friendly, calm and, if possible, self-confident.

2. “Social conversation”: if you are worried, you feel that you or your family are not ready for the substantive part of the dialogue, do not rush (sometimes the first visit may end with this phase). In this case, arrange a time for your next visit and say goodbye.

• Explain what good can a family get from communicating with you . A family may or may not accept your explanation.
• Ask at what kind of help does the family need and does it agree to cooperate.   Remember that the family’s refusal to cooperate is not final.
• Be sure to check how did family members understand you and how did they perceive you .
• Find out, how the family sees your cooperation.
• Rate quality of family contact .

4. Listen to the answers and accept them as the basis for your future dialogue. Rememberthat family answers may not be pleasant to you, but they should be for you so that you have to build a dialogue   (build relationships). thereforeyou should not "draw the family its bright future provided she gives up her stupid attitudes. "

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In the process of the first conversation it is necessary   focus on a key issue . The social educator, moreover, should motivate family members to change . This gives the interlocutors a new look at themselves and their capabilities, gives the client confidence in the ability to change the situation for the better. In this case, you should use keywords: by this you have shown that you can ... you have done a great job.

When working with family, when discussing a problem, it is important to overcome the so-called "dead center".   For example, you can build a dialog as follows:

1) express your attitude to the situation (i'm worry...);

2) emphasize the strengths of the interlocutor (... because you want to be a good parent for your children ...);

3) describe negative behavior (... but you drink too much...);

4) possible consequences (...and as a consequence, move away from children more and mislead them ...).

In the process of communication, the social educator will receive a lot of information concerning the family. Sometimes such talkative families come across that the task of a specialist will be “not to drown” in the flow of information. In the dialogue with the family, it is necessary to notice many small things and details, and then decide whether to attach importance to them or not.

During the conversation you need to pay attention to:

• appearance,
• behavior,
• facial expressions
• gestures
• intonation
• other features of speech.

During the conversation, unexpected situations may arise:

The social educator must be psychologically prepared for such a development of events in which the planned purpose of the visit and the current situation are incompatible, that is, an unforeseen situation arises. If a tense situation arises during the visit:

• Pause discussed topic.
• Suggest   make a pause (for example. Tell about the need to call, etc.).
• Save   calm throughout the whole situation. Do not continue to solve the problem, start with an active hearing.
• With further discussion use “I am messages” instead of “you are messages”. It is believed that in this case you speak more about yourself (for example, thoughts and feelings in the current situation and analyze the family less than you can reduce the heat of the situation).
• Analyze   the ability to move someone from the family members (for example, swap them) or remove them for a while (at a neutral / safe place, including outside the home), especially if their aggressiveness is directed against each other.
• Talk   individually with each member of the family.
• Leave the family if you think that the situation becomes physically dangerous for you, or the family asks you to.

Is it possible to avoid an unforeseen, critical situation?

Yes, but only if you do not meet with the family at all. Although such a development is rather an exception than a rule. And not a daily experience. It just might happen, so be prepared for it.

1. Dispositions. Orders ("You must ..." or "You will have to ..." or "You will have to ...").

2. Cautions. Threats ("You better ..." or "If you do not .., then ...").

3. Morals. The sermons Instructions ("This is your debt ..." or "You are required to ..." or "you would be worth ...").

5. Argumentation. Logical beliefs ("The facts are ..." or "Let me tell you ...").

6. Condemnation. Criticism. Charge ("You are wrong" or "You are lazy" or "You are stupid")

7. Humiliation. Stereotypes. "Labels" ("You're just a spoiled child" or "You do this all the time").

8. Interpretation. Analysis. Diagnostics ("Your problem is that ..." or "You are constantly doing this, because ...").

9. Praise. Positive rating ( "You are a good person" or "I agree" or "This is correct").

10. Encouragement. Consolation (“It's not so bad” or “Don't worry, you will soon feel better”).

11. Questioning. Study. Interrogation ("Why" or "Why" or "Who" or "What" or "Where" or "How").

12. Care. Distraction, irony and sarcasm ("Let's not talk about it now" or "Forget about it").

• basic personal data (full name, address, age);
• close environment (a person can be better understood in the context of his family);
• clarifying the essence without distracting details;
• clarification of details, subtleties, relationships;
• joint definition of hypotheses with the client, their verification.

Encourage parents to succeed in raising a child.  Assist in establishing family contacts with others.  Observe ethical behavior during family visits to show parents that the visit will not harm the child.

If there is no progress in working with family, ask yourself a few questions: Am I acting in the right direction?

• Is this what the family wants?
• Are the priorities chosen correctly?
• Are our goals realistic?
• Is the problem positively worded?
• Are the steps quite small?
• Is there anything instructive here?
• Have we seen all the possibilities?
• What remains to be done?

In working with the family, the social pedagogue should have the motto:   you can not help - do no harm.

Each family  during certain periods of its existence, certain crises and problems take place that affect both individual family members and the entire family as a whole. Anyone who provides support to families should weigh the degree of their intervention in the family: would it not be worse?

And do not forget that making contact is   not a “waste of time”, but a necessary component of fruitful cooperation .

march 2014

Work with parents is included as a mandatory section in the plan of educational work. All its forms are planned: group meetings, reports and conversations, consultations, home visits, means of visual pedagogical propaganda (design of stands, corners for parents, etc.). The plan indicates deadlines, topics for group conversations and reports, an approximate schedule of family visits (adjustments can be made during the year), records of work with parents, visits, consultations are kept; recorded questions posed by parents. The analysis of these materials will help the caregiver to more deeply understand the peculiarities of children's behavior and to ensure a unified approach to the child, to determine which families' experiences should be popularized, which families need kindergarten assistance.

The teacher should be aware of the published pedagogical literature on the issues of raising young children in the family and recommend it to parents. This can help senior tutor of the institution. It is useful to organize a discussion of books, articles from the magazine "Preschool education" on the issues of education of young children.

Family visits are a mandatory and necessary form of work with parents of young children. The teacher should visit families as soon as possible at the beginning of the year. With parents whose children only enter the day nursery, it is necessary to agree before the first visit of the child, at what time it is better to bring and pick him up, learn about his skills, habits, tastes, so as to take all this into account on the first day. Even if a child of the second year attended a nursery (nursery-kindergarten), a new caregiver needs to meet him at home. The teacher tells parents about the mode of the day and methods of education in kindergarten, asks parents to stick with them at home.

During the year, the tutor re-visits the families of some of their pupils, primarily those in which, in his opinion, the child is not given the necessary attention, as well as those in which the child is overly nourished, spoiled. If the child comes to the group excited or, on the contrary, sluggish, the teacher when visiting the family finds out what the mode of life of the child is at home, strongly advises what needs to be changed. In cases where parents complain that the child does not fall asleep for a long time in the evening, does not want to go to bed, the tutor finds out how he spends the evening, recommends not to overexcite the baby before laying down, draws the attention of adult family members to the fact that the transition from wakefulness to sleep should be gradual.

It is necessary to re-visit and those children who are often sick. At the same time, the reasons are often easily identified: the child is overly muffled, the room where he is located is not ventilated. It is clear that children who are accustomed to such greenhouse conditions easily catch cold.

Group parent meetings are held once every 2-3 months. 4-5 meetings are quite enough per year to discuss the most important psychological, pedagogical and medical issues with the entire composition of parents, subject to systematic individual (or with small groups of parents) conversations and consultations, with daily close contact with family members of the pupils of the group.

In order to successfully work with the family in the interests of the child, it is necessary to know well enough both the child and the family. This task is not simple, it requires knowledge, skill and tact of the teacher.

First, it is necessary to study the personal qualities of the child using the methods of observation and analysis, as well as various projective techniques, to identify the status of the child in the group, his self-esteem, emotional well-being in kindergarten and at home, etc.

Then you should conduct a family survey (for example, “Characteristics of a family”, “Moral education of a child in a family”, etc.), compare your observations with the results of diagnostics, tests, conversations. These data will be more reliable if you organize a home visit to the family.

Purpose of home visit  - communicating in the "family territory", to more deeply delve into the problems relating to the upbringing and development of the child, to help in their resolution. Today, none of the teachers have any doubts about their need. Each child should be visited at least once or twice a year.

A home visit, even with the best of relationships, should not last more than 30-40 minutes. It is conducted tactfully, correctly. You can conduct a home visit with representatives of the parent committee.

After a home visit in a special notebook or social card of the child, an appropriate entry is made about the visit. At the initial visit an act is drawn up, which reflects:

• family composition;
• housing, sanitary and hygienic conditions;
• family microclimate, communication style;
• family material security;
• family traditions;
• conditions for the successful development and upbringing of the child: the presence of games, toys, material for productive activities, children's books;
• family problems (from the conversation);
• advice, recommendations.

With repeated home visits, attention should be paid to the implementation of previously proposed recommendations; provide information about success in the development and upbringing of the child; if necessary, identify problems, carry out remedial work.

For example, Dasha, for four and a half years, lives with her mother in a one-room apartment. The family has an average income, as the family has no additional help. The room is clean, tidy. The girl is sleeping with her mother. The relationship between them is warm, trusting, which is manifested in their communication, mutual sympathy. Dasha has a shelf in the section for toys and books. They have enough girls, but their appearance wants to be the best. Mother reads fairy tales to her daughter every day, poems. Dasha loves to draw, cut, glue, and for this she has everything you need. The family celebrates the usual holidays, especially love and are preparing for the birthday, New Year. Dasha does not have standing orders, but willingly helps to clean the house. From the conversation, it was revealed that the mother is experiencing problems in raising Dasha’s independence and confidence.

• put the child to sleep in a separate bed;
• use the play room of the parent room;
• to secure for Dasha any standing assignment in the family;
• to visit the consultation of the social teacher on raising a child's independence, confidence (agree on the date of the consultation).

Pay special attention to children and parents, who in every possible way shy away from meetings on “their territory”. As a rule, most often these are families that have something to hide, and they don’t want anyone to witness it. In such a case, the educator must inform the public inspector for the protection of the rights of children in the pre-school or the head of the institution to take the necessary measures.

  Love Obizhisvet
  Report "Visiting pupils at home"

To help the young teacher

(the value of the work of the teacher with the families of students)

Report on the topic: Visiting pupils at home.

In parenting, close contact between educators and parents is important. In order to properly build a job, it is important for an educator to see how children live at home, how they are raised in a family. Teachers find it difficult to determine the methods and techniques for approaching a child. If he doesn’t know anything about his family, he doesn’t know what the pupil’s parents are.

Visiting the families of pupils helps to study the conditions of life and upbringing. The closer the connection between educators and parents, the easier it is to work. Therefore, it is necessary to begin work with parents from visiting children at home, conducting conversations with all family members, organizing parents' meetings, conducting “open classes” in kindergarten, and clearly demonstrate all educational work.

For the parents of each group, teachers make out the corners in which they place pedagogical literature, advice, organize exhibitions on specific issues of raising children in the family.

In order to purposefully conduct all this work, it is necessary to know well how the family upbringing of children is carried out.

We did not treat family visits as a survey, but carried it out for that. To improve the work of parenting. When visiting families, teachers learned more about the conditions the child lived in, the relationships of family members.

Before visiting the family, you must notify your parents. The purpose of the visit is not a sudden occurrence, but assistance to parents with advice. During the first visit, the teacher seeks to explore the following questions:

1. The conditions in which the child lives (the material conditions of the family, the cultural level, how many children, where the parents of the child work are full family or not, what is the circle of close people (parents, sisters and brothers, grandmothers and grandfathers).

2. Whether the rules of hygiene are observed (where the child sleeps, whether the day regimen is observed).

3. How the personal space of the child is organized (play corner, which toys, which books, materials for the child’s artistic activities (clay, pencils, coloring books and so on.) How toys, books and material for lessons are stored).

4. What interests the child most (games, activities or reading books).

5. Whether the child is accustomed to independence, self-care and work.

6. The relationship between child and parents.

7. Who spends the most time from family members with a child (plays, reads books, practices with a child).

8. How to raise a child.

During a family visit, conversations are very important, the first is especially responsible. It is important to think about the content and form of conversation with parents. The purpose of such conversations is to place the trust of parents towards themselves and thereby ensure joint work in the future. At first we talk about the positive qualities of the child, and then about what worries us in his development, behavior. We ask questions about the behavior of the child at home, what difficulties parents experience in raising a child.

At the end of the conversation, the teacher always agrees with the parents about joint methods of raising the child.

In the future, the teacher and parents exchange opinions, what changes have occurred in the child's behavior, what difficulties have arisen in the upbringing.

The teacher fixes his observations in the notebook “family visits”. This makes it possible to analyze the work of raising children in the family. When compiling a record of family visits, the teacher seeks to give a brief analysis of the pupil’s living conditions, draw conclusions, outline further work with the family and find a more correct approach to the child.

Such a community helps teachers and parents to establish the unity of educational influence.

Publications on the topic:

“How to motivate a child to do housework”  “How to motivate a child to do housework” We repeat the words about mutual respect and democracy in relations with children many times. Question.

It will take a hundred and two hundred years, And three hundred years will pass, But each picture and portrait Any thing, any object Here will save the people. (S. Mikhalkov).

Formation of emotional and value attitude to family, street, home as an integral part of patriotic education  Patriotism is the most important moral quality of a citizen of our country. The essence of patriotism is in deep and conscious love for the Motherland, devotion.

Report "Features of the organization of the birthday of pupils in the orphanage" "Features of the organization of birthday with pupils in the conditions of the orphanage." Studies of psychologists and teachers in the field.

Report

IN ASSISTANCE TO THE TEACHER

Family passport

1. Composition of the family, age, education of the mother and father of the child, family structure (complete, incomplete, having many children, with one child, parents divorced).

2. Living and living conditions (good, the family needs better living conditions, the child has a separate room, no corner, etc.)

3. The material security of the family (secured, low-income).

a) between adult family members;

b) the nature of the relationship of parents and other family members with the child;

c) the position of the child in the family (the idol in the family, left to himself);

d) attitude of the child to the parents.

5. Are there any deviations in the behavior of any family member (alcoholism, drug addiction). How does this affect the child.

6. The level of pedagogical education of parents.

7. The educational potential of the family:

a) if the family pedagogical literature;

b) if the labor duties of the child in the family;

c) whether the requirement from the parents to the child is the same, what incentives and punishments apply to him.

8. How can a family help a kindergarten:

In matters of family education,

In creativity with children and teachers,

In the improvement of the kindergarten.

Memo to teachers for a visit to the family.

1. Make sure your parents want you to come to them. Some parents may be against such a visit, seeing it as an invasion of their privacy. You must respect their desire.

2. Plan a visit at a time convenient for parents.

3. Try to arrive at the appointed time and not postpone the day or time of the visit. If you cannot come for any reason, then inform the family as soon as possible.

4. Never come without warning. This is a manifestation of disrespect.

5. Never bring anyone else along when visiting a house.

6.Dress decently and comfortably.

7. Your visit should have a specific goal, so that it does not become a waste of time.

8. Leave your personal tastes and value system beyond the threshold of the house. The house may not be as clean as you would like; parents can scream at children, but as long as this is not a threat to the child’s health, you should be able to “close your eyes” to certain things. If you openly show your parents that you condemn their actions, you will almost certainly not be invited here anymore.

9. Always keep confidential when handling any information your parents tell you.

10. Be yourself with your parents. This means, be honest and ready to tell about yourself what is relevant and relevant to the topic of conversation. Thus, you will help parents feel like partners, not wards.

11. Try to sincerely praise that in the house we all are pleased to think that we have something special.

12. Thank parents for the opportunity to come to their homes. If you have promised something, be sure to keep your word.

Indicative list of questions to be found out when visiting a family

At the first examination  Family caregivers should pay attention to the following questions:

The composition of the family, its cultural level, vital interests, the scope of their activities, the use of free time;

The psychological climate of the family (the system of communication between family members);

Family atmosphere (participation of family members in household affairs, family traditions);

Housing conditions, material well-being;

The distribution of pedagogical forces in the family (who are mainly involved in raising a child (children);

How parents understand the diverse education and development of the child and how it is carried out;

The organization of the child's life in the family, the system requirements for him;

The attitude of the child to the requirements of parents and other family members;

Features of the child's behavior in the family;

The health of the child and other family members;

The difficulties experienced by parents in the process of raising a child (children), etc.

Clarification of these issues is necessary for the teacher to continue working with parents and other family carers. Unfortunately, novice educators do not immediately realize how important such a deep acquaintance with the state of family education is. Gradually, they will realize that this work is necessary, that it directs the use of the knowledge and skills of the educator to increase the pedagogical culture of the parents, and increases its authority.

With each subsequent visit  the family teacher in advance determines the specific goal and objectives associated with the peculiarities of the development and education of the child.

For example, when visiting a family of a young child, a caregiver may be interested in:

Conditions for the development of the child's subject activity;

Compliance with the child's day regimen at home;

Pedagogical conditions for the formation of cultural and hygienic skills for the development of the independence of the child, etc.

When visiting home preschoolers, the goals will be different. For example, reveal:

Labor assignments and duties of the child in the family;

Formation of the initial skills of educational activities of the future student in the family;

Raising interest in the book.

Selection of games and toys, etc.

When visiting a family to familiarize themselves with the activities of the game should pay attention to:

The presence of toys, their compliance with the age of the child and his interests;

Placement of toys, their condition;

Try to identify what motivates parents to buy such toys;

Favorite toys of the child: what kind of toys the child likes to play at home (do the parents know about it);

What pedagogical tasks parents solve with the help of the game;

When and with whom children play (with brothers, sisters, neighbors children, etc.)

When visiting a family to identify the nature of labor education, it is important to identify:

Does the child have systematic work responsibilities in the family, their content and orientation towards family members, and showing care and attention to them:

How do children perform these duties:

What instruments of labor a child has, where they are kept;

Is there a fixed time for the child to perform his job duties;

How parents teach children how to work, whether they work together with their children;

The interest of the child to certain types of work, how? It should be noted that at home the conversation with parents is more frank than in kindergarten, in addition, it is possible to get acquainted with the opinions and views on the upbringing of other family members who daily influence the development of the child.

Approximate scheme for recording family visits

I. Name, surname of the child ____________________________________________

Year and month of birth ______________________________________________

Since when does kindergarten attend _______________________________

Parent Education:

Position held:

father ____________________________________________________________

mother __________________________________________________________

Number of children in the family ________________________________________________

Place of the child in the family (junior, middle, senior, unique).

Iii. Description of visits based on activities.

Entries in the first and second sections are filled at the initial visit, and then supplemented as necessary.

On subsequent visits, only the column of the third section is filled out, the subject of which is associated with the visit, as well as recommendations to the family and notes on the implementation of the previous recommendations. Moreover, the suggestions and recommendations given by the teacher to the family should be specific. For example, if you buy toys, which ones, determine the work responsibilities: which ones, etc. Such records help avoid repetitions, see the features of changes in family education.

memo

Dear parents!

In order for your child to quickly and easily get used to the new way of life offered by the kindergarten, to feel comfortable and comfortable in the group, we ask you to cooperate in the period of his adaptation to new conditions.

In kindergarten, the child needs to get used to:

To new adults who will take care of him;

To the new atmosphere, rooms, furniture, toys;

To the community of their peers;

New food and food conditions;

New setting for sleeping.

It will be easier for your child to get used to everything gradually. Therefore, we ask you to come with your child for the first time at a time when there are no other children in the group and the teacher will be able to get acquainted with your baby, and he will learn a new adult for him. The child will feel confident if you are at first next to him.

The first week we ask you to come between 9.00 and 12.00, feeding the child at home with breakfast, and stay with us in the group until lunch.

The second week we will offer the child to try to have dinner in a group and, perhaps, by the end of the week - to sleep.

The third and fourth week, please pick up the child shortly after a nap.

At home during the adaptation period, you need to treat your baby more tolerantly and attentively. If something worries you in connection with kindergarten, do not discuss it with a child, but be sure to share all the concerns with the staff of our institution. We ask you to tell the psychologist and caregivers about the child as much as possible, everything that you consider particularly important. We are ready to listen to all your wishes.

Parental survey

In order to identify and maximize the satisfaction of parents' requests, as well as provide them with timely assistance in raising children, parents must be questioned annually at the kindergarten:

Ø “Evaluation of the activities of preschool educational institutions by parents”

Total number of questionnaires distributed ________

Total number of unfilled ________

Questionnaire Question	Yes			Don't Fill
1. You get information about: a) The goals and objectives of preschool institutions in the field of training and education of your child; b) mode of work preschool institutions c) food (menu)
2. In the kindergarten, special work is done on the adaptation of children (talking to parents, the possibility of finding them in a group in the first days of a child’s visit
3. Teachers discuss with parents various issues relating to the child’s stay in a kindergarten (discipline, food, etc.)
4. Parents have the opportunity to attend the group, participate in excursions with children.
5. Parents have the opportunity to receive information about everyday incidents in a group (on a stand or orally)
6. Parents report injuries to changes in a child’s health, eating habits, etc.
7. Parents have the opportunity to discuss with their staff the success of children at joint meetings (at least once a year)
8. The staff of the kindergarten are interested in how their work satisfies the parents (interviews, questionnaires)
9. Are you personally satisfied with the care, education, training that your child receives?
10. Do you, personally, feel that employees are friendly towards you and your child?

"PUNISHING, THINK:" WHY?

1. Punishment should not harm the health - neither physical nor mental. Moreover, in theory, the punishment should be useful, is not it? No one argues. However, the punisher forgets to think ...

2. If there is doubt, to punish or not to punish, - DO NOT punish. Even if they already understood that they are usually too soft, trusting and indecisive. No "prevention", no punishment "just in case"!

3. At one time - one. Even if there are a great many misdeeds at once, the punishment can be severe, but only one, for all at once, and not one for each. Salad of punishments - the dish is not for the children's soul!

Punishment is not at the expense of love; Whatever happens, do not deprive the child of deserved praise and reward. 4. Statute of limitations. Better not to punish

than to punish belatedly. Other, overly consistent caregivers scold and punish children for offenses discovered after a month or even a year (spoiled something, dragged, foul), forgetting that even in the harsh adult laws the statute of limitation is taken into account. The risk of instilling a child with the idea of ​​possible impunity is not so terrible as the risk of retarding mental development.

5. Punished - forgiven. The incident is over. The page is turned, as if nothing had happened. About the old sins not a word. Do not interfere with starting life again!

6. Without humiliation. Whatever was, whatever was the fault, punishment should not be perceived by the child as a triumph of our strength over his weakness, as humiliation. If the child believes that we are unfair, the punishment will only work in the opposite direction!

7. The child should not be afraid of punishment. He should not be afraid of punishment, not of our wrath, but of our grief ...

With a deficit of love, life itself becomes a punishment, and then punishments are sought as the last chance for love.