What to do with excellent student's syndrome. The complex of an excellent student (excellent student): what is it and how to get rid of

Date: 04.12.2020

Do you try to live "perfectly" and get depressed because of the slightest setbacks? Think about it, you may be suffering from Achievement Syndrome in adults. Yes, you are precisely “suffering”, because you strive to do everything perfectly, forgetting about such simple things as self-love, rest and entertainment. The result is mental and physical exhaustion. Below we will try to figure out how this condition manifests itself and how to get rid of it without the help of a specialist.

How to recognize the syndrome

Psychologists distinguish 2 main signs of pathology:

Constantly expecting praise or approval from others for the work done.
Unwillingness to take on complex or new tasks due to fear of failure, disapproval of society (family, friends, colleagues).

A person with the syndrome often fantasizes about how he is seen from the outside. For example, he is driving a car and thinks that everyone is looking only at him: “how cool he / she is driving!”.

The syndrome is often seen in people with low self-esteem. The "excellent student" is constantly trying to prove to everyone that he is the best. If this does not work out, he becomes depressed. For him, even a small remark from the boss can become a reason for a bad mood, self-flagellation and tears.

Consequences of the excellent student's syndrome

There is nothing wrong with trying to be successful. The danger is borne by the pathological desire to always be "on horseback". It's easy to guess what excessive perfectionism can lead to.

Moral exhaustion is one of the most severe consequences of a neglected syndrome. It manifests itself in constant mental anguish, nervous breakdowns and apathy. Also, the "excellent student" differs in that:

does not know how to enjoy the lessons (he is focused on the result, not the process);
does not use creative thinking, but prefers to solve problems in familiar ways;
gets hung up on little things;
seeks to get rid of rivals (competitors);
does not know how to make acquaintances due to a complex nature;
shows emotional instability.

Definitely, an excellent student's syndrome is a pathology that harms both the person himself and his environment. If you try very hard, you can overcome it yourself.

How to get rid of the syndrome

The complexity of the treatment of pathology lies in the fact that in adulthood it turns into a character trait. Redesigning yourself is a difficult task, but you can and should try!

First you need to understand the reason. Most likely, the excellent student's syndrome has come to you since childhood. The condition develops due to a lack of attention or love on the part of the parents. The child subconsciously tries to earn their approval, for example, through good grades.

It should be clearly understood that major and minor failures in life are not a reason to be upset. Their consequences are not as dire as they seem. People will not stop loving or respecting you. To work on oneself, psychologists recommend conducting small trainings - disrupting the daily routine. Here are some examples:

Come to work later and honestly say you slept;
Sign up to any circle and see that there are no ideal ones - everyone learns from their mistakes;
Change your clothing style. Let it not forever, but allow yourself to dress like you would never dress on the weekend.

Praise yourself for small accomplishments and ignore mistakes. Life is woven of success and failure. One wise man said that he who does nothing is not mistaken. Even a blind man, feeling for the right path, makes dozens of blows with a stick.

Finally, prevention is easier than cure. If you notice a pathology in a child, make every effort today to get rid of it. Show your child that you love him not for his successes, but for the fact that he is. Do not skimp on tenderness and warmth. It is not the assessment that is important, but knowledge, not the result, but the pleasure of the process!

We also had this. The child feels terrible about this, I turned to a psychologist to cope with the problem. It turned out that the original message comes from the family, it helped us a lot. Such a complex cannot just appear. I am glad that we overcame this, because when the child grows up the situation may not change, I even have a friend with such a complex. I see how hard it is with this in adulthood ... It was similar with us. It only concerned grades at school. When I received a deuce for a forgotten notebook, I said Hurray, I have a normal child !. Now he is not afraid to receive grades other than fives ...

Well, this is not a fear, but a reasonable approach. This is not very important to me, but the opinion of those who are dear to me is important.

Difficult, but possible. I have a friend, a very good international lawyer, she went to a psychologist for two years. But now, as she says, "the result is obvious." It is worse when the complex of an excellent student remains in adults. My brother is 30 years old, and he is still in it ... How can adults get rid of him? In the first grade, we didn't have grades, but emoticons. The degree of the smiley face depended on how the child coped. There was no competitive element. I don't remember children competing. Thank you teacher for that.

Sometimes, in order to understand the problems of the children, the mother should look back at her "tricks", perhaps the divorce and the new marriage of the mother, forced / forces the child to become the best. I wrote:

I do not even blame the educators. Tokens are the same marks. Neither teachers nor parents simply know how to work differently, without stimulation by grades. As a rule, teachers have only one way to make a child live and study according to the rules established in school, in kindergarten - to put marks. To be honest, the grading system is a way to manipulate children.
In order not to traumatize the child's psyche too much, they tried to introduce a non-judgmental system at least in the lower grades (up to the second, inclusive). But in practice, everything depends on the teacher and his presentation. In my children in the first grade, the marks were replaced with stickers. At one teacher, children pasted stickers on a poster with a Christmas tree, a boat, etc. (in different months in different ways), and at the end of the month they calculated: whoever has more stickers - that one gets a prize. The teacher worked so hard and invested in the children that, in general, all the children wanted to be the best and most loved. And the parents very much appreciated the teacher's efforts and did not cherish her soul. We did everything to make it easier for her to work. As a rule, we ourselves, parents, try to choose the best teacher for our child, the kind from whom everyone learns, who knows how to motivate all children, from whom all children are disciplined, to whom everyone wants to get ...
For the sake of being the best, my daughter tried very hard. And the teacher loved her very much for that. When we left, she was very upset, even a tear welled up.
Why did I write all this? To show that my daughter is so smart? No. To show that these are the teachers most appreciated by parents. Parents bring their children to them themselves. Children fixate on the formal side of the educational process - on grades and carry this attitude further into secondary school. (By the way, when we realized what the problem was, we left that school for a different educational system.)
In first grade, not all children understand the value of grades, but I think after a school like I described above, all children begin to appreciate grades. Why are the contests "Who has more tokens?" To instill in the child's mind the desire to be the best, to be the first, then all the laurels are for you. In our class, the girls did not like to help others, because then they would not be able to stand out among them. As a result, strong students compete with each other, and the weak "score" on the marks, try to isolate themselves from them, or accept their failure, trying to compensate for this with something else, but this already happens in high school, in adolescence, when adults are already can't control them that much. Of course, there can be no talk of fostering a team spirit among excellent students. On the other hand, C grade students are more lucky in this sense: they get lost in groups and live according to the laws that they picked up on TV, at school, at home.
But I got distracted. Two of my older children, studying according to such an assessment system, brought their failure and dissatisfaction home. Their mood was hard to bear, the more the younger ones grew up and adopted the mood of the elders. Therefore, we moved to another school, where it was valuable to help those who lagged behind, where no one assessed the children, and the child's interest was the main stimulus. The teaching was based on the child's needs for communication, acceptance, etc. - everything is difficult to explain, tk. it's a whole technology. But what I liked most, as a parent, was teaching the child to work in a team, to see a neighbor with his needs, to reckon with him. The older children became happy to come home from school, the psychoses associated with the lessons were gone - the atmosphere at home improved. Our school leader explained to parents that weak children in the classroom are even more needed by the strong than strong children by the weak. Because in the process of learning, those children who understood faster explained to those who did not yet understand, and from this they themselves began to understand the material even better. Only when you explain something to someone else do you begin to understand the material deeper.
P.S. And it also seems that you need to break into a cake in front of the children, like those entertainers who hold children's matinees. In fact, this is not the case. You just need to understand the needs of the child and take them into account. Marina007, you are great for helping and supporting your daughter.
About kindergarten terribly Ours were also given sweets, who helped to clean up or slept well. But black tokens

Indeed, there are children who do not know how to lose at all. My eldest in kindergarten always cried when I couldn't win. And only at school it gradually passed.
And the youngest didn't cry right away, she sees how I'm rooting for her when we play together, and mirrors, rooting for me. And absolutely does not worry about the loss. Especially when nothing depends on the player (walker or lotto).
It turns out that the prerequisites for the excellent student's complex can be noticed even before school and begin to smooth out in advance.
Interestingly, before this topic, I did not consider this complex to be a disadvantage at all. Now I have revised it and I will no longer demand ideal notebooks and round fives from the youngest. It's good that we have not had time to study yet, but we are just going to the first grade.

Thanks to everyone who helped to look at this from a different angle Marina007
Thank you for the experience ... My daughter is also very worried about failures ... School is still ahead ...

oh, this is how it works, poor children, like in a circus ... just a note ... Good afternoon, everyone!
I came out on your topic through the news highlighted from above - there was an article about the "Excellent Student Syndrome", and through the article there was a connection with your topic.
I read your topic to the 6th page. I decided to speak out. I am familiar with this syndrome. One of my daughters suffered from this for a long time. Only recently have we coped with this syndrome to the extent that others have ceased to suffer from it, although the plaque remains.
I began to worry about this syndrome in the first grade, when she played until 9-10, then at 10 in the evening, finally, she organized to do her homework and did them until late, although she no longer had the strength. She cried, wrote out letters in exhaustion and circled them several times. I told her: "Go to bed! We don't need any A's at the cost of health!" And she, sobbing: "They'll give me a four!" The desire for the teacher's love and acceptance was very important to her to such an extent that she did her best, tried very hard in everything. She took first place in running competitions, and then she was ill for a long time. I scolded her: why were you trying so hard! Nobody needs it! Among other things, even in the kindergarten, she was often ill, and she had bronchitis and was allergic to cats, then to dandelion pollen. As a result, a constant coughing began, like a nervous one and a runny nose. The coughing went away only if she went to the pool section twice a week. As soon as she missed, she immediately began to cough. I don’t know whether the bleach helped, or the physical activity relaxed, relieved nervous tension. I think these were the symptoms of the onset of asthma.
We changed schools. In the new school, grades were not put right up to the 4th grade, because experimental site. The cough went away completely after a few months. But the frustration in case of failure remained. Until the 4th grade, she often cried at school, she almost did not succeed, although she was the best student in the class.
Finally, I started to treat her with homeopathy. The nervous system became more stable and stopped crying. Then in the fifth grade, in case of failure, she began to argue with us, but only aggressively. That we are all to blame for the fact that she is losing the game that the whole family is happy to play, not focusing on winning. I continued to treat her. Medicines were selected according to psychological symptoms, food preferences, and in general. She became more balanced. I stopped redoing tasks for everyone in the class when working in groups. (Earlier, when working in groups, she did not trust the others, but did everything as it should. The rest of the children hung their hands - all the same, X would do everything herself.) ...
At the moment, we do not suffer from an excellent student's syndrome to the extent of obvious problems that would result in hassle and colds. She still has a persistent runny nose, which previously resulted in a spring allergy. But now, as the nervous system strengthens, allergies are no longer observed.
Recently, she remembered: “When I was in kindergarten. I woke up every day with the intention of being good today and that they would give me tokens for this. (They had such a system of stimulating good behavior there.) But anyway, something bad happened and they gave me a black token. "

I told this story to show that in the case of an excellent student's syndrome, the child's vitality is reduced due to the fact that it is spent ineffectively all the time (in order to prove to everyone that he / she deserves to be accepted). In our case, we did not have time to recuperate after school, because We have a lot of children and my mother (that is, I) cannot pay much attention to each of them. Therefore, mental problems resulted in colds. First, our excellent pupil fell ill, and then all the other children. Perhaps, in families where parents have 1-2 children in the evening to somehow compensate for the child's frustration, the child has time to recover in a calm atmosphere at home. At home, it’s like at recess at school. We constantly need to negotiate with everyone, everyone has their own intentions, so we really need the ability to see and take into account the interests of others, or rather, work in a team.

No, I'm afraid that someone whose opinion is important to me will come and see that I have a mess.
There was a lot of discussion about this here in this thread:
It is strange, by the way, that any discomfort is immediately considered from the point of view of fear. Now, if you are not very pleased that you did not wash the floor on time and it is dirty, this does not necessarily mean that you are afraid of something at the same time (for example, that microbes are now infecting the whole family).

Here I agree with you. And here we need to work on this feeling of discomfort so that it does not turn into fear later.

I do not share with an easy hand. I just love to categorize
But seriously, it doesn't mean that I divided everyone into 4 types and that's it. All people are different, just any classification involves finding COMMON features in different people. Pure types are generally rare, often mixed. But if you understand what traits are inherent in a person, it is easier to figure out what he feels, and how to communicate with him in those areas where your approaches are completely different.
Do you never use classifications yourself? For example, such as "excellent student-poor" or "working person - office worker." Indeed, these classifications also have certain features inherent in the type. As, however, and the mass of intermediate options.

How! And at the same time they ran into the teacher! Or maybe she was just a good Teacher, which you will find in the afternoon with fire, that is why they loved (and by the way, there is also an example of my own teacher of primary classes of advanced age - and we also loved her with the whole class) N.V.
Cool wording! Reminded: "Scrap, why aren't you plowing, sowing, reaping?"

Many parents dream of their children being excellent students. Kids should look perfect, behave approximately, receive only fives. You can be proud of such a child. Adults themselves are not averse to striving for success in everything and at any cost. But behind this beautiful facade hides a sad reality - a child who sits at lessons all day and an adult who spends all the time at work and achieves success from their children. Why is this happening? The answer is simple - this is how the excellent student's syndrome makes them behave.

Overview of the syndrome

Achievement syndrome is a heterogeneous phenomenon. It combines the desire to achieve recognition in any business and extreme self-doubt. The desire to earn love, parental approval through good grades, is combined with a constant fear of being punished for poor grades. This can lead to the development of psychological problems and complexes, for example, an inferiority complex.

Achievement syndrome is a heterogeneous phenomenon

Symptoms: how the syndrome manifests itself in adults and children

In children, the excellent student's syndrome manifests itself in the form of the following signs:

volatile self-esteem. The kid thinks of himself well if you praise him, and bad if you censure;
the child tries to get high marks at all costs. Both lies and concealment of bad marks can be used;
malevolent attitude towards the failures of other children and jealousy of their successes;
inadequate emotional reaction to the lack of praise - the baby may cry if the work done by him does not cause approval;
fear of being wrong. A child can quit a dictation or control at any time due to a small mistake, which, as it seems to him, reduces all further efforts to naught.

Adults with excellent student syndrome experience all those symptoms, but there are also certain nuances:

constant comparing yourself with other people. The mistakes and shortcomings found in the process of such comparison cause great suffering to a person;
an adult can sacrifice many of the pleasures of life or entertainment in order to achieve a goal;
values public opinion rather than experience and job satisfaction. I am ready for much for the sake of praise in front of everyone;
develops a neurosis called perfectionism - the desire to have an ideal appearance, to be the best worker, wife, father and much more.

The kid thinks of himself well if you praise him, and bad if you censure.

These symptoms found in children should cause anxiety in parents and a desire to help their child. An adult has the right to decide for himself how much the manifestations of the excellent student's complex interfere with him, and whether he wants to get rid of it.

The causes of the excellent student's syndrome

In a child, an excellent student's cider can appear for several reasons:

Due to the fact that parents praise their child only for fives.
Parents can try to realize their unfulfilled dreams in their children and thus compensate for their failures.
Children with low self-esteem are more likely to manifest the syndrome.
A child can be influenced by a teacher, highlighting only successful children and ignoring the achievements of others.
The atmosphere of the children's collective is also important - how other children relate to grades, how the leader from the company treats the child, and the child himself will react to his grades.

In adults, the excellent student's complex takes its origins from childhood, but not always. A series of successive failures can lead to it. A person may begin to think that if he tried harder, he would have achieved more. And, although not everything in our life depends on ourselves, a link is fixed in the minds of such people: failure due to imperfection.

The teacher can influence the child, highlighting only successful children and ignoring the achievements of others

How to Cope with Achievement Syndrome?

First of all, it is worth understanding whether it is necessary to get rid of the excellent student's complex. The answer is yes. The complex can have the following consequences in children:

Inability to highlight the main thing and waste of time on trifles. The child is engaged in ensuring that the problem is correctly written in a notebook and does not have time to solve it.
Fear of starting a new business if there is no confidence in success. In the future, this will greatly narrow the range of human capabilities.
Lack of free time and high demands in relation to other children can leave a child without friends, teach him to communicate normally.
Constant overstrain - the child is working all the time, bringing himself to physical and moral exhaustion.
Depression due to lack of praise. Excellent students are praised less often than C-graders, which is why they suffer.

In adolescence, and especially adulthood, all these consequences are aggravated, acquiring new and new effects:

Maximalism, in which a person is afraid to make a mistake and, in order to reduce the burden of responsibility, refuses to raise or his personal life.
Loss of your own individuality due to following the chosen pattern.
People with the syndrome are constantly trying to teach other individuals how to live properly. This behavior leads to conflicts.
Time is wasted on trifles, and the important thing - personal life, family, fades into the background.
Health difficulties arise: headaches, various neuroses and mental problems (for example, anorexia), fatigue, insomnia.

Many of these consequences are very serious and can significantly harm a person.

With this disease, headaches can occur.

Helping a child with excellent student syndrome

Parents on their own can help the child overcome the complex. To do this, they need to adhere to these recommendations:

Reduce the level of requirements for a student if he does not match his abilities. Parents should also understand that grades are important, but they do not determine the future of the child, but his ability to learn and discover something new.
Show that you love your child, not because of great grades, but because they are. Assessment by itself does not change children for better or worse.
Do not compare your baby with those who seem smarter and better to you, this will only cause complexes and resentment.
Tell your child that being wrong is not only not scary, but also normal.
Cultivate your student's optimism and sense of humor. So it will not only be easier for him to perceive criticism, but also find a common language with peers.

The most important thing is to love your baby and let him know. Happy children are less likely to suffer from complexes and neuroses.

How to rid yourself of the excellent student's complex?

In order to help yourself, you should heed the following advice:

allow yourself sometimes a little negligence. Nobody will see small imperfections, and you will make sure that you are not criticized or condemned constantly - you do it yourself;
learn to enjoy the work, not the movement towards the goal. What you love always walks better;
give someone part of your responsibilities at work and at home, do not pull everything on yourself, learn to relax;
find reasons to praise yourself even in criticism, do not dwell on failures;
develop your teamwork skills. Look more condescendingly at the work of your comrades, do not try to redo it. It’s even better if it will take place in an unfamiliar environment or a new field of activity.

Love yourself, and the result will not be long in coming. And from an excellent result in itself, self-esteem will not grow. And no one can be liked by absolutely everyone, so why not start to be the first to treat yourself well.

Good day, dear readers. Today we will talk about what constitutes an excellent student's complex. You will know for what reasons it arises, and how to resist it. You will find out what consequences you can expect from a neglected condition in childhood.

What is

Achievement syndrome is about striving to be the best, with the obligatory presence of praise. Most often observed in females who studied well at school, participated in contests or competitions. As for men, this syndrome most often develops on a subconscious level, and is dictated by the opinion that he will be worthy of love and praise only when he can perfectly cope with everything.

Main manifestations

Such a person will be very upset if he does not have time to cope with an elementary task.
Excessive responsibility is characteristic. Such people grab onto several tasks at the same time, for example, cooking, housekeeping, constant monitoring of the child.
In order not to feel oppressed, they need to do everything as well as possible.
Dependence on the opinions of people around. The need for their approval of their actions.
The inability to perceive yourself as you are, and appreciate for it.
Lack of ability to lose with honor. Acute response to such situations.
Inability to laugh at oneself, to enjoy life.
Criticism is perceived very sharply, instantly lowers self-esteem, there are often cases of depression.
Fear of taking on a risky business. It is much easier to live according to his usual order, fear of changing jobs, starting something new.

Possible reasons

Before thinking about how to get rid of the syndrome, you need to know what factors influenced its formation. It is important to understand that most of them appear as a consequence of experiences in childhood. Let's take a look at some of the common causes.

Improper upbringing due to ignorance of child psychology.
Praise unnecessarily.
Parents can cite a neighbor's child as an example, pointing out to their own about his shortcomings and lag in comparison with him. Thus, they will cause the desire to become better and better.
Adults do not praise for achievements, they only scold for failures. Peers tease, begin to gloat.
Parents themselves decide with whom it is better to be friends, select a social circle consisting only of successful children.

Consequences in adulthood

Adult Achievement Syndrome, which begins in childhood, can cause serious problems in adulthood. Let's take a look at exactly what might happen.

At work. It will be very difficult for such a person to see more successful people next to him. He will try his best to win the approval of his boss. For this, he will stop sleeping, resting - all for the sake of a "catchphrase". And when this happens and they begin to extol him over the employees, then colleagues will react sharply, begin to discuss behind their backs and, to put it mildly, hate. Such people are most often able to perform monotonous work according to a given algorithm, and not creative and creative tasks.
In the personal field. In this matter, the syndrome is especially acute in women. The girl will try to become perfect, she will want to learn how to cook better than the boyfriend's mom, she will wash the apartment several times a day so that her beloved can see what kind of mistress she is. But when a young man takes all this for granted, does not praise the girl, then a scandal is inevitable. After all, she tried so hard, all so that he expressed his admiration. Naturally, not every guy will tolerate such an attitude towards his person, and more often than not he will simply break off tensions, and the girl will be left alone with her syndrome.
Raising kids. Such parents are extremely demanding of their offspring. They want their child to be perfect, the smartest, strongest and most beautiful. A dad or mom with the syndrome enrolls the child in several circles at once, in language learning classes, in sports sections, because the baby must succeed in everything. Parents react extremely sharply to the poor academic performance of their offspring, and do not at all listen to the opinion of the child if he does not want to attend this or that circle. Because of their total control and constant employment at work, because there you need to be the best, they do not devote time to communicating with the baby at all, are not interested in his feelings and fears, and do not provide support. Children with a strong psyche, when they get older, organize serious protests, start doing everything in spite of everything, which sometimes leads to the most dire consequences and serious manifestations. Guys with a weak mentality will simply begin to imitate the will of their parents, over time they will acquire this syndrome themselves.
Relationships in society. It is extremely difficult for them to create a social circle, find friends. Indeed, their essence is to constantly compete with the strong, trying to surpass them, and criticize the weak, showing their superiority. Therefore, friends of such people do not linger. And new acquaintances are considered successful mainly in cases when a really weak person becomes a friend who fully agrees with this definition.

When you meet an "excellent student", you will hear many flattering words about yourself, indicating his success. And, if you decide to make a comment or say that the achievements are not significant and are not worth anything, you will see a painful reaction and strong resentment.

How to get rid of

In this matter, psychology can come to the rescue, professional consultation with a specialist, or you can try to cope on your own. The following methods may be effective.

It is necessary to separate cases according to their importance. First of all, do what urgently needs to be done. If you don't have time, for example, to clean the kitchen floor, it won't be the end of the world.
It is very important to set aside time for rest. Good sleep and nutrition are of great importance.
Try to stand in front of the mirror and praise yourself for your merits. But not for the victories that came with hard work.
Introduce family rules that require daily hugs and praise without regard for any achievement. It is very important to convey to a person with this syndrome that he is already the best, he is very much loved.
You can try to give free rein to extreme. Go to the rides or the rope park.
We need to do a new business. Decide on a hobby. Be prepared for certain setbacks. After all, we are all human and this cannot be avoided. It is important to wait out this moment and understand that there is nothing wrong with making mistakes and lack of superiority over other people.
Pay attention to creative self-development. This is especially true for drawing. Thanks to creativity, you can relax, begin to show your emotions with a brush.
Do not be afraid to make mistakes, try to go against the rules.
If you see that the "excellent student" begins to worry, is very worried, then at such moments it is necessary to support him.
Try to completely change outwardly. These can be changes in hairstyle, in women's hair color, in fashionable clothes.
Communication with a psychologist. The specialist will explain what is more important, how to plan your day, set priorities. Will tell how a person with the syndrome aggravates his life, complicating it. The doctor will teach you how to get rid of the fear of communication with others. You can go to the sessions, both individually and with your family.

Now you know that no one is insured to get an excellent student's syndrome or an excellent student. You must understand that adulthood was preceded by similar behavior in childhood. If you yourself have a small child, do everything to prevent the development of such a complex.

All parents want their children to be the best. To do this, they enroll the child in many courses, force them to attend circles and send them to special schools with a heavy load. An adult does not care at all that a child does not want to engage in this sport or does not pull a gymnasium with 3 foreign languages. He makes the child be the best in everything and sets difficult and sometimes simply unattainable goals for him.

An excellent student's complex is laid in childhood

general information

The obligation to always win and the requirement to constantly keep the bar and raise it higher and higher create an excellent student syndrome in a child. He obliges a person to always be a winner and reach the highest heights. More often girls and women suffer from excellent pupil syndrome.

Such a neurosis can be observed not only in childhood, this disease often passes into adulthood and remains with its owner until death. This happens in the absence of treatment. If the patient begins to struggle with the problem, then in most cases he will overcome it. However, an excellent student's complex in adults can also be a form of perfectionism, which is much more difficult to cure.

Symptoms

In children, this syndrome has the following symptoms:

desire to get excellent grades in any way - the child may substitute a friend because of the competition or not say about a bad grade;
imbalance - tantrums occur in the absence of an adult's praise, even when the child performs simple household chores;
fear of being wrong - when a child is afraid that he may do something wrong and nothing can be fixed;
self-esteem, which depends on criticism or praise from others;
poor attitude of the child towards classmates who achieve success: a small person simply cannot rejoice in the successes and achievements of other people;
lack of responsibility for their actions and words.

Reasons for the appearance

A child's excellent student syndrome can occur due to several reasons:

overestimated requirements of parents for the baby;
attempts on the part of the child to earn attention and praise through excellent academic results;
inferiority complex;
inability to prioritize;
fear of punishment;
an innate sense of perfectionism;
attempts to improve their low self-esteem.

Achievement syndrome in adults occurs for the same reasons and strongly resembles perfectionism. It can help you achieve amazing results, but it can also dramatically impair your quality of life. A person himself must decide whether this complex interferes with him or not.

Effects

If this syndrome is not cured, then the adult will be haunted by some problems.

A person will always get used to cramming and will not be able to normally think and think creatively.
The emotional state is fragile: such people alienate other people with their frequent mood swings and quick temper. It is observed in women subject to the excellent pupil complex.
Such a person cannot enjoy any process, she is focused only on the result.
Due to their complex nature, they have few friends.
Constant obsession with little things.
Willingness to get rid of their rivals by any means.
Lack of abstract thinking.
Exposure to frequent depression due to the failed completion of the next task.

How not to turn a child into a neurotic

Manifestations in women

The syndrome of an excellent student in adult women manifests itself in the same way as in men, but has more serious consequences in emotional terms: based on the complex of an excellent student, emotional exhaustion can occur.

Due to the fact that the weaker sex is more unstable in a psychological sense, each failure or non-compliance with plans can cause depression, a nervous breakdown or severe suffering. The complex of an excellent student in this case differs from the complex of an excellent student.

Another feature of the syndrome in a woman is the desire to conform to the ideal. Unlike an adult man who suffers from the same problem, a girl must not only correspond to an impeccable image herself, but her chosen one must also be on top. Such picky can get in the way of a happy family life. Often the excellent pupil syndrome leaves a girl without a life partner.

There is a simple answer to the question of how to get rid of the excellent student's syndrome: you need to use the same methods of treatment as when getting rid of the excellent student's syndrome.

The syndrome of an excellent student threatens a girl with loneliness

Difficulties

In addition to the unpleasant consequences of the excellent student's syndrome, there are certain difficulties that those who become ill with this ailment will experience.

In the adult mind, a fear of bad judgment is ingrained, and it is carried over to all situations in life. Such a person will not get down to business until the moment when he is sure that he will do everything perfectly. Fear dominates him even after many years, and getting rid of it is difficult.
The fear of the wrong decision associated with the excellent student's syndrome manifests itself in any situations where it is required to make an independent decision and be responsible for it. In the event of a wrong choice and an unsatisfactory result, a person will think that he is to blame for everything, and therefore does not have the opportunity to shift the responsibility onto others' shoulders.
Eternal dependence on established criteria and clearly defined actions, which has followed from childhood. It is convenient to live when there are instructions for any business, and there it is written how to achieve an excellent result. As a result, such individuals do not know how to independently decide something and become prisoners of prescribed plans.

Such a person does not have the opportunity to objectively assess himself and his actions. He simply does not understand how one can evaluate oneself. Psychology explains the dependence on the opinions of others by this. In addition, an inner parent constantly lives in a person's head, who evaluates and criticizes all his actions. This is a clear difficulty that a person suffers with excellent student syndrome.

Difference between complex and perfectionism

As mentioned above, this syndrome is a specific kind of perfectionism. But what is the difference? Perfectionism is a psychological disorder of a person in which it seems that the ideal is attainable. Unlike the excellent student's syndrome, such people are demanding of themselves and others, they try to do everything perfectly, and when it doesn’t work out, they suffer madly. The personality itself is well aware that the ideal does not exist, and it is common for all people to make mistakes, but the inner voice insists that everything must be done flawlessly, and it will definitely be so.

The main difference is that the perfectionist strives to do everything perfectly and requires it from others. The excellence complex is based on recognition and result:

excellent grade;
attracting attention;
praise from relatives, etc.

It can be concluded that the work itself and its quality are important for perfectionists, and the result and its acceptance in society are important for people with excellent student syndrome. Another equally important difference is that the complex forces a person to perceive any task as a competition, in which any means are good to win. Such people often hate their rivals and rejoice at their failures.

The perfectionist doesn't give a damn about whether he has competitors or not. The main thing is the process of work, during which he can calmly forget about the existence of the rest of the world and all the people around him.

What these disorders have in common is that they either prevent many from leading a normal life, or help, motivate them to achieve various kinds. In women and men, these problems develop in different ways, but this does not mean that a particular gender is more influenced. However, some experts believe that the representative of the beautiful half of humanity has a great tendency to diseases of this kind.

Definition of perfectionism

Treatment

If you notice a child has this syndrome, see the recommendations below.

The first step is to explain to the kid that he will be faced with assessments all his life, and sometimes they are biased, not objective. This is not the factor that determines the mood and state of several days.
Love the child for what he is, express your love so that he understands and feels it. For example, you can hug him more often, kiss him, say nice words just like that. Give him more time, talk to him, listen and support with advice and action. More often play games with the whole family where chance decides victory, rather than hard training. So the child will understand that it is not always possible to be in the first place, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Go on picnics, ride bicycles, walk in the park with the whole family. Find a common hobby and spend time together more often.
Enroll your child in a class of their choice. Help and support him in this endeavor.
Do not set impossible goals for your child. Children have limited options compared to adults.
Help your child prioritize and select the most meaningful and important activities from all of their hobbies.
With an excellent student's syndrome, you should not compare the child with other children for both the worse and the better.
Develop a sense of humor and the habit of laughing at your failures, drawing conclusions, and not getting depressed. Explain that everyone has the right to make mistakes, including himself. It should also be said that there is nothing terrible and incorrigible in this. Almost any mistake is not fatal and you can fix everything.

The excellent student's syndrome in an adult patient is treated with sessions with a psychiatrist. However, there are several tips that psychologists offer to consolidate the result. Such people are advised to get rid of the fear of failure and from time to time deliberately violate the daily routine, their own rules and stereotypes:

try not to shift responsibility for your actions to others;
laugh at all your failures, but do not forget to draw conclusions;
sometimes show your mistakes to people around you, thereby proving human origin;
take a chance and do something that can bring good luck;
conduct an experiment with clothes and appearance: on this day it is advisable not to worry about the impression made by your image;
overpower yourself and ask for help from a more experienced specialist in some area of work;
remember that it is impossible to please absolutely everyone;
praising yourself for your accomplishments and not being too overwhelmed by your mistake;
always put health first - this applies to both the physical and psychological states of the body;
talk frankly with loved ones about your mistakes and ask them to help analyze your actions and actions.

Laughing at mistakes is a great way to deal with a complex.

Conclusion

After discovering this complex in himself or his loved ones and studying the problem with the help of the Internet or scientific literature, a person asks how to get rid of the excellent student's syndrome.

The only correct solution to the problem for an adult is a consultation with a specialist, this syndrome is not easy and requires an extraordinary approach to treatment.